Living Love

“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat. So people who don't know what (sic) they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino. ”

― Joe Fox in You’ve Got Mail

If someone asked you to define yourself in just three words, what three would you choose? What springs to your mind first – Physical attributes? Achievements? Your occupation? Two thousand years ago Jesus challenged us to be known by a single attribute – love.

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

John 13:35

Love isn’t just something you feel.

It isn’t just something you are.

It goes beyond an attribute to action. Love acts.

Love is expressed in the words we say and the ones we wisely withhold. It is demonstrated in unacknowledged kindness. Love is spoken more through our hands and feet than it ever will be with our mouths. Like faith, love is dead without action.

Like me those you most love live with you. The month of love may soon draw to a close but my love doesn't have to. I've made a plan to continue to put my love into action. I’m going to gather around the table and have every family write down one word that describes every other person at the table. After we describe each other with these uplifting words, I’m going to ask each person to give me one thing I can do to make them feel more loved. Then I’m going to set my love into motion by putting some feet to my words.

Do you want love to be more than words in your life? Why not join me in this challenge and live love this March?

Dead Presidents...or a Living King

Dead Presidents. They were being thanked all over Twitter yesterday. It's amazing how grateful a student can become for a founding father when he grants her a day off of school.

I should be thanking them myself. Days with my kids are precious treasures. After a morning at the dentist, a noon lunch date with Daddy and an afternoon cooking, doing school projects and laughing I realized I "accomplished" very little yesterday. 

Sure I did a couple loads of laundry. I managed to complete a task or two on the to do list. But for the most part I just enjoyed being with my kids.

I awoke to crumby floors, dusty shelves and happy hearts.

It was along about child number three I realized how fast the parenting years vanish. I made a commitment to engage with my kids - to work puzzles, play games, watch television and just be with them. I reasoned twenty years from now my children wouldn't remember the dust bunnies in the corners but they would remember how many times we hid in them while playing hide and go seek.

Sometimes that's how I think God feels. 

He doesn't care what we accomplish or how perfect our lives appear to others. He just wants to be with us. He isn't counting our dust bunnies but He does count every precious minute we spend in His presence.

So I don't know what's on your agenda today. It may a high powered executive lunch or an NCIS marathon but somewhere amongst the noise of your life Jesus is whispering your name. Why not put down the keyboard, your cell phone or the vacuum and answer Him instead?

Yesterday the dead presidents gave me a day off with my kids. Today a living King wants to me a day on with Him.

Finding the One in Lonely

I originally wrote this for a blog for pastor's wives. Over time, though, I've realized loneliness is something we all struggle with...

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Luke 5:16

It's crushing. My soul gasps for relationship but attempts collapse. The pain of loneliness is palatable. As pastor's wives there is usually no need to withdraw. We live, work and worship in lonely places.

We forge a deep, abiding relationship with our husbands but places of our hearts are a mystery to him.

We find satisfaction in the ordinary rhythm of caring for our home and family, but underneath the drum of solitude beats.

We delight in serving our King but find His courts an empty, solitary place.

How can we fill our God-given craving for female companionship?

Seek Relationship Beyond Your Boundaries - Don't expect your new best friend to occupy the rocker next to you during your nursery rotation. But you might find her in a community Bible study, on a non-denominational ministry board or in the school PTA. Jesus withdrew to a safe place. We'd be well-advised to find a safe place outside the brick and mortar above which our church sign hangs.

Consider Going Cross-Country - I'm not advising ultra-marathons or running away from your family to join the circus. With the world wide web, communities like A Pastor's Wife's Garden are just a click away. We can find a place to pour out our hearts and pray without even leaving our favorite chair.

Re-Kindle Old Loves - Sorry girls, your college sweetie is off limits, but your college roommate probably isn't. Consider reconnecting with a sorority sister, a girl from your hometown or pretty much any woman who knew you pre-POW. (POW = the pastor's outstanding wife!) Sometimes the one who's known you the longest can be an oasis in a relationship desert.

This week let's face our loneliness. No we didn't have to withdraw to get there but we can commit to pray for each other in our lonely place. We can take a single step out of the shadow of lonely and into the light of relationship. Most importantly, we can seek the One Who guarantees we're never alone in our lonely.

Back a Little Ways

Why do you say...my way is hidden from the Lord; 

my cause is disregarded by my God? 

Do you not know? Have you not heard? 

The Lord is the everlasting God, 

the Creator of the ends of the earth. 

He will not grow tired or weary, 

and his understanding no one can fathom.

Isaiah 40:27-28

The last month has been spent pruning, preparing and packing to put our house on the market. As extra furniture has been cleared out and closets have been cleaned, I've stumbled across some unusual items.

The mate to the sock I threw away 6 months ago...
A scary looking, seriously fossilized bug or two...
The cap to a lip gloss I no longer own...
A remote to one of our TVs...
Gloves I thought I'd lost...

Making these little discoveries, has reminded me of one of my favorite ways to read the Bible. I go find a scripture I really like and read the verses around it. I often discover something totally unexpected when I do this. 

The verses above appear just before these well-loved words in scripture:

He gives strength to the weary 

and increases the power of the weak. 

Even youths grow tired and weary, 

and young men stumble and fall; 

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles; 

they will run and now grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint. 

Isaiah 40:29-31

Soaring on wings like eagles and running without getting weary is the stuff superheroes are made of. It's no wonder I, along with many others, likes this passage. But when I back up a few verses I pause.

Maybe sometimes the reason life seems hard is because I spend more time questioning God than trusting Him. I try to walk in my own strength or figure out problems on my own. Before I can walk without growing faint, I have to run into the arms of Jesus. He is the giver of my strength.

So glad I went back a little ways...

Why not go find one of your favorite verses and read the surrounding text? Could you come back and share with us what encouragement you found back a little ways?

Paint This Town Red

Today I'm kicking off a new Friday series - The Best Worst Mom Ever. Each week I will share one of my multitude of parenting blunders and what I learned from God as I stumbled.  Enjoy!
_______________________________

Walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

Piercing blue skies showered sun on their blond heads as they played. I watched my two littlest ones chase each other with giggles, peacefully oblivious to the chore I undertook on the other side of the glass. As they played I placed phone call after phone call to break the news. 

My husband was diagnosed with cancer.

Somewhere among the calls, I lost sight of them for just a few minutes but I wasn't overly concerned. Our home was built with a port-a-cochere. They were safely separated from the street and the world by an electronically sealed iron gate. Still I knew little kids could get in big trouble in a matter of minutes. I quickly ended my call and went in search of my sweethearts.

See how cute they were when they weren't red!

I found them in the garage. One was covered head to toe in red spray paint; the other was colored just on the tips of her tiny fingers. It didn't require a consultation with Sherlock Holmes to determine the perpetrator. 

As I scrubbed my little ones clean I just kept bursting out laughing. The whole situation was too ridiculous to elicit any other response. On a day I might have otherwise been crying my eyes out, I found myself joining in my preschoolers' giggles.
Two days later the "victim" returned to preschool still tinged pink. I must admit her odd skin color was the least of my concerns until... the preschool called wanting me to pick her up fearing she had some sort of a rash. It required a healthy dose of humility to admit that she didn't have a rash but had instead been spray painted by her sister. 

The journey ahead of me was a scary one. Each morning I had to surrender my fears and choose to trust the One who knew my future. But I knew just as God had given me the gift of laughter on that difficult news day, He would give me exactly what I needed to walk every day of our cancer journey.

When we encounter difficulty, it's typical for someone to tell us something along the lines of "Don't worry. You got this. God won't give you more than you can handle." I love Steven Furtick's take on this:

In reality, God gives you more than you can bear all the time. On purpose.It’s only when you can’t bear the load that the strength of Christ kicks in…and He becomes everything you need and more.

Just as I needed humility to admit my parenting blunder to the preschool, I need humility to admit I can't handle this thing called life without God. Whether my day holds a diagnosis or everyday girl drama, I have more than I can bear. That's why He bears my burdens instead.

What situation in your life could the presence of Christ paint a different color if viewed through the lens of relying totally on Him?

A Blessing's Birth

Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish.

Isaiah 38:17

Yesterday I sat around my kitchen table with the five people I treasure most in this life. Together we dreamed about our new home currently under construction and searched for scriptures to paint onto the walls of every room. Tears rimmed my eyes as I watched a long-held dream unfold.

This isn't the first house I've built but it's the first we will bless in this fashion. 

I still remember exactly where I was sitting the first time I heard of a family writing scriptures on building materials of their home. I was in my 20s and had never owned a home. I meet biweekly with other new moms who knew they didn't have all the answers and needed the insight and counsel of someone farther down life's road. 

Our mentor mom gave us a plethora of helpful hints for building a happy home. Tips like:

1) Squirt pinesol in the toilet before your hubby comes home...that way he'll think you've been cleaning all day.
2) Fry up some onions in a pan and then artfully place your purchased meal on your dinner plates...that way your dear spouse will think he's eating a home cooked meal.

But nestled among her tongue-in-cheek humor, she gave us a picture of a Christian woman. She was the first person I've ever known who wrote scripture on her home. She was so committed to making her home a place where God was honored that she sat in the yard and prayed over her home as every board was laid. 

Much has transpired to lead my family to yesterday's table. It is through pain, heartache and hurt we have reached a point where we long so deeply for God's presence in our home. In these difficult circumstances I couldn't see the blessings God was birthing through pain. 

Maybe you're facing something insurmountable today. Or maybe it's just a big pile of little inconveniences are blocking your perspective. The day will come when you sit at the table and watch your dreams unfold. 

Surely it was for my benefit I suffered such anguish...

What blessing will your pain birth?

When the Snow Doesn't Come

I'm convinced the vast majority of Southern children learn to pray in our schools. No prayer is allowed in public schools. And no the teachers don't lead them...but I suspect they join them. Every child here prays for snow. The slightest chance of snow means school is canceled.

Today their prayers and mine were answered. By 7 this morning the superintendent was calling to announce school was dismissing four hours early. Only it didn't snow. 

Sometimes the snow doesn't come.

We have a set of expectations - of a way we anticipate life working out, or circumstances changing or our prayers being answered - and it simply doesn't happen. 

Expectations are tricky - like trying to view a single snowflake. Where I live we rarely get the puffy, fat flakes. Most of them are near indiscernible specks. If you squint and cock your head to the right you can (sometimes) see them fluttering to the ground. But if you look at the ground where thousands of them have congregated you realize it actually is snowing.

I can't always see God at work. Sometimes when I squint and cock my expectations-filled head to the right I think I see something. When I focus on Him I realize He's been at work all along making a pile of snow. It just shows up some place other than where I've been looking.

What are waiting for God to do today? Could your expectations be keeping you from seeing His work?