How To Rescue Your Marriage from the Pound

John 3:30 He (Jesus) must become greater; I must become less

Last year, in a moment of sheer weakness, I rescued a dog. Scott had been diagnosed with cancer a month earlier and since our former dog had lost a battle with cancer two years prior, it seemed the appropriate time for the addition of a new family member. Brady had hardly gotten used to his new digs before a friend of mine, Denice, who is one of my models concerning how to be a godly wife, issued me a challenge. Beat Brady to the door every night to greet Scott. Dogs run to the door with the enthusiasm of a preschooler, open their hearts without any thought of self, and eagerly give affection to the returning family member.

This morning, I am reading John 3:19-36. This passage opens with some teaching by Jesus (Verses 19-21) and then immediately spotlights a disagreement between John the Baptist's disciples and "a certain Jew" over how and when you should wash your hands. Apparently carpet, committees or even hymnals are not required for Satan to fuel conflict among believers. I wonder though what "fuel" did Satan use. Did he use division by making this "certain Jew" feel like an outsider, excluded from the circle of followers drawn around John? Did he use distraction by raising a minor, non-essential issue (hand-washing) and exploding it to epic importance in their minds? Whatever his tactic, he was successful. He even managed to get them to drag Jesus and John into it (Verse 26). It is John's responses in Verses 29-30, that I want to look at most closely today.

John refocuses their attention onto Christ and diffuses the situation with an analogy, making himself the "best man" and Jesus the "groom" in a wedding. Obviously the role of the best man in the wedding is not to seek attention for himself, but instead to seek to aid and assist the groom. Today God spoke this story into my heart from the standpoint of my actual marriage. Is there unnecessary conflict that I allow Satan to sow in my marriage. If so, what seeds is he using? Like the "certain Jew" do I allow feelings to fuel an argument? Do I filter out the minor issues so our discussion can be focused productively?

• Verse 29 establishes that the bride belongs to the groom. I know through passages such as Genesis 2:18 and 1 Corinthians 11:3, that I was created for the benefit of my dear husband and have a tremendously important role to fulfill as his right hand girl.
  
• Next the role of the "friend" is designated as one who waits for, listens for and joyfully greets the groom (Verse 29). Perhaps God wants me to be not only mate but also friend. Titus 2:3-5 outlines several things that older women in the church are to train younger women in the church to do. One of those is to love their husbands. The Greek word for love here is not the sweaty-palmed, butterflied stomach love but rather friendship love. The love that no doubt would be shared between a groom and his best man.

Is it even possible for me let God guide our conflict instead of allowing Satan to sabotage it? Am I capable of being both mate and friend to love Scott? Verse 30 gives me the key to my success. He (Jesus) must become greater; I must become less. The more I spend time with Jesus, the more drastically He changes my character. The greater He changes my character, the more natural it is for me to become a godly wife. Jesus, turn the attention of my heart to my husband to wait for, listen for and joyfully greet my groom today. Maybe, just maybe, I could even beat Brady to the door.