His Light Shines in My Darkness

2 Corinthians 10:4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

On February 24, 2009, I received a phone call that I will not soon forget. I had been having lunch with some girlfriends when I suddenly felt the urge that it was just time to go. Myself and one other friend excused ourselves from the table, paid our bills and stepped into the balmy Texas sunshine. Immediately both our phones began to ring. As we parted company, I answered my phone to the words, "You're right, dear, I have cancer".

From across the parking lot I gave my friend the thumbs down. She knew what that meant because she and one other friend were aware of the potential diagnosis Scott and I were facing. Her caller was our other friend. Within moments of my learning of a devastating diagnosis, these sweet women were surrounding our marriage, home and family with the power of prayer.

This morning I am reading 2 Corinthians 10. In this passage, Paul is clarifying for the Corinthians whom we fight and what it is we are fighting for. "Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our area of activity among you will greatly expand, so that we can preach the gospel in the regions beyond you." (Verses 15b-16a) I long to give my children a heritage of faith that passes through dozens of generations. In other words, I want my activity to expand beyond me.

I have battled as long as I can remember with bouts of negativity and depression. Most days I faced the world with a smile but occasionally a stormy day passed my way. I tried everything I knew to change this about myself. I thought positive thoughts. I tried eating right and exercising. While these things helped, they did not conquer my problem.

A few years ago, I asked my older two children if there was anything they wanted me to change as a mother. They both said they wanted a mom who was always positive, not just sometimes positive. Ouch! Since then I have vigilantly faced this problem and fought it square on - God's way. Armed with God's divine power through faith and prayer, this stronghold has slowly been demolished. "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (Verse 5) Not too long ago, I asked my kids how I was doing in this area. They told me God's brought me a long way.

Jesus, I am so glad you're not done changing me. It is only through Your power working in and through me, that I can leave the right kind of legacy for my children-one of hope and victory, not negativity and depression. Thank you that I do not battle alone. You have surrounded our family with many precious prayer warriors. I thank you today for each of them. This is Your day. I choose to make it a bright one, not a dark one.