Sixteen Candles

Psalm 103:17 From everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him.

I sat at our rugged kitchen table and peered dreamily out the window.  Our house overlooked the Tennessee River and its' original owner constructed the back as a bank of windows to soak in the view.  Where the riverbank should be, I saw the face of my boyfriend.  His rugged yet boyish features played in front of me as I breathed in the scent of roses.

I was sixteen and life seemed perfect.  Perfect boyfriend.  Perfect present.  He'd sent me a dozen roses as my present.  That day I thought perfection would last forever.  It was short-lived.  A few months later I would be as Anne of Green Gables puts it, "in the depths of despair".  My perfect boyfriend had smashed my perfect world into a million pieces.  He'd moved on to another girl and left wilted roses as a painful reminder of my once ideal existence.

Today's reading is Psalm 22.  This chapter is often associated with Jesus' death as the words "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" appeared here first.  Jesus was quoting this Psalm when He spoke them from the cross.

Today I can laugh about how devastated I was by my first big break-up.  At the time it felt like those sixteen candles burned a hole of pain right into my heart.  I wish I'd known then how close help was.

Twenty-three years later the true love of my life would be diagnosed with cancer.  I ran to Jesus.  In His arms, I found strength, hope and encouragement amidst the most trying of circumstances.  God had not forsaken me.  He was near.  He enveloped me with a tangible, everlasting love. 

Jesus, Your love dwells deep in my heart.  Even today love comes and goes in my life.  Friends move.  Loved ones pass away.  You remain.  At almost forty-one candles, my life isn't perfect. I stare dreamily out my window thinking of Your eternal love and grace.