Sheltered and Safe

Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

When we were growing up, my siblings and I would have regularly called meetings. We discussed issues of great childhood importance such as whether we should revolt and go live with our grandmother and who would have to clean the toilets during chore hour on Saturday morning. We were not heads of state. Our meetings did not alter national policy but they developed a bond between the four of us that can not be broken. These gatherings didn't take place around a board table or at a five-star restaurant but in the simplicity of a bedroom closet.

I treasure the memory of those meetings. When my phone rings and the music of one of their voices is the greeting on the other end, I still want to run for the shelter of my closet. Because today my siblings and I talk about things that actually are life changing. What will we do if our parents can't provide for themselves financially or physically in years to come? How will we hold our family together when the thread of our parents has passed from it?

Today I am reading Matthew 26.  This chapter describes the betrayal and arrest of Jesus.  Just hours before He had eleven loyal men at His side.  Now He had no one.  I feel for the disciples.  Everything they thought they knew changed.  Their world was shattered and they scattered.

We don't know where anyone except Peter went that night.  I imagine they sought a place where they felt safe.  When I was a child I ran to shelter in the closet.  I still want to run there at times.

Even though every friend abandoned Him, Jesus walked resolutely to the cross where He would never abandon them.  When I am afraid, I don't have to run to my closet.  I can run to Jesus. 

Jesus, You overcame Your grief in Gethsemane, to provide me with Your comfort.  You are my Hiding Place.  You are my Shelter.  I am sheltered and safe.

Counting a Little = a Lot

Psalm 77:11a-12 I will remember the deeds of the Lord; I will meditate on all your works and all your mighty deeds.

My knobby knees curve over smooth wood.  My feet dangle.  I want to swing them but know that isn't allowed in church.  To entertain my eight year old brain, I count things - rows, people, panes of glass.  I hope the times passes quickly.  Dinner after church is favorite part of Sunday.

A song pierces my counting game.  Count your blessings name them one by one...  It's one of the few songs I really understand the words of.  Blessings are the good things God does for you.  I decide to spend the remainder of church counting those instead.

Today's chapter is Matthew 25. In this passage, Jesus tells a series of stories which inspire the reader to live with the end in mind.  When we live mindful of eternity, we live well.  In one parable, Jesus tells a story about three servants.  Each is given a portion of money to look after while his employer is gone on a long journey.  Two invest was is entrusted to them.  One does not. 

When the master returns, he brings praise for the two and criticism for the one.  To the two he says, "You have been faithful over a little.  Enter into the joy of your master." 

When I count my blessings, what God has entrusted to me doesn't seem so little.  He's given me much. 

• The reliability of the sun to return after a storm
• The laughter of children as they run into my arms
• The velvet of animals when I stroke their fur
• The warmth of cocoa on a cold afternoon
• The strength of the man that lays next to me at night

I want to be faithful with what God's given me.  The key to steadfastness is gratitude.  The two were thankful for their employer's trust.  They served him well.  When I allow thanksgiving to dwell in my heart, I will serve God well.

Jesus, I sit among your creation.  You sit here with me.  In me.  I have been adopted by Your love and grace.  I acknowledge the favor You've shown me.  You've poured out Your love into my life.  Today, I'll hum a ditty from my childhood.  I'll name Your works...one by one.

Anticipation is Making Me Wait

Isaiah 46:11 I (God) have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.

I was pregnant.  I wasn't entirely sure how that was possible.  Well I knew how it had happened but was flabbergasted at God's timing.  I was twenty-four, a newlywed and at the start of a new job in a new city.  I compared the stick to the packaging a dozen times with the same result but somehow felt the need to continue this cycle of lunacy.  How could this be?

While overwhelming, anticipation grew moment by moment in my heart.  God planted His love deep within and there a miracle grew.  Over the next nine months, I read books, prepared the nursery and prayed.  She took her time and eleven days past her due date, Hannah bloomed into my life.  A sweeter baby never was born.  My heart filled to capacity.  Anticipation allowed me to wait with patience for this delightful affirmation of God's love.

Today's passage is Matthew 24.  For fifty-one verses Jesus describes the events of the last days of earth.  It frightens, quickens and warns.  It also anticipates.  It causes the heart of every Christian to long for the day our faith will be sight.  God is at work.  In His perfect timing, He will bring these events to pass.  In the meantime, I anticipate.

I anticipate in other areas of my life as well:

• My youngest two realize their need for Jesus to be their Savior
• Four pairs of feet walk down the aisle
• Answers to prayers
• Family vacation
• God works through my daughters to impact the world for Christ
• My husband retires

So many glorious moments in both the ordinary and extraordinary of my life.  So worth the wait.  So fun anticipating.

Jesus, my faith will become sight.  I don't have to see Your face for that to be my reality.  It can be a reality in the ordinary of my life as I witness You lead, guide, work and deliver.  I wait patiently for You.  Anticipation is making me wait.

Who's the Boss?

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men.

Don't you miss working?  It was a question I'd answered dozens of time before but as always it caused me to pause.  It is true that I had been successful in my own right.  I earned a six figure income, sat in an office and had a high degree of both accountability and influence at my company.  Now my salary was zero, my "office" was the kitchen/laundry room and my influence didn't extend much beyond the front door.  My new job title was Mom.

Yes.  There was definitely a part of me that missed working.  I missed the achievement marked by regular performance reviews.  I craved the recognition of titles and advancement.  My new world defined success loosely as day including a shower, clothes that only contained a minor splotch of spit-up and cleaning something other than a miniature human.

This morning I am reading the 23rd chapter of Matthew.  This entire passage contains teaching directed toward the leaders of the Jewish religion.  In fact the phrase "practice what you preach" is derived from the third verse of this chapter.  The heads of the temple were long in setting standards and short in living up them. 

In one lesson, Jesus outlines four practices that undermine their work:

1. They Do Their Work To Be Seen by Others (Verse 5) - In my former line of work, I made quarterly presentations to the highest levels of management.  While some shy away from public speaking, I reveled in the opportunity to present my work and help guide the financial rudder of my company's ship.  This thirty minute delivery was the apex of one quarter's analysis done primarily in the privacy ofmy office.  I was more than willing to work three months for a half hour of recognition.  Every person enjoys being acknowledged for their contribution.
2. They Love the Place of Honor (Verse 6) - One of my favorite activities when I worked outside the home was watching the staff congregate for a meeting.  They offered great insight into how various employees measured their importance.  Whoever was hosting the meeting invariably sat at the head of the table.  Then the high ranking officials would flank said host typically according to their own level of importance.  The rank and file employees would fill in the back and fringe seats.  You could walk into a meeting a gage the pay grade of a staff member simply by their position in the room.  I personally never clamored for a particular seat at the meeting but that is mostly because I was too busy being amused by other's attempts to do so.  People love being seated in the place of honor.
3. The Love Greetings in the Marketplace (Verse 7) - Anytime I move to a new job, church or community, I make an effort to learn people's names as quickly as possible.  Nothing puts another person at ease more than calling them by their name.  In direct contrast, some of the more embarrassing moments of my life have been when I was recognized by another person and caught stammering for a single piece of information about them.  It can be downright humiliating when someone knows my name and I can not reciprocate.  Humans enjoy the sound of their own name.
4. The Love Being Called Rabbi (Verse 7) - I would like to say that when I worked outside the home, that I didn't care what my job title was.  The truth is we all care.  There is a difference between an administrative assistant, an analyst, a director and a president.  Titles matter because they define one's role and level of authority. 

Do I miss working?  Yes I do miss parts of it.  Here's what I love about my new position.  I am free to do my work with a servant's heart, not to be seen by others.  I am at liberty to take the lowest place at the table.  I am loosed to serve four blessings two of whom can't even yet spell my name.  I am able to delight in the simply greeting of "Mom". 

The truth is this freedom is offered not just to stay-at-home moms.  Jesus offers this privilege to every Christian.  When God instructed as to work as though we were working for Him, we were unshackled of the burden of titles, positions and places of honor.  We are free to work for the delight of an audience of One.

Jesus, thank you for the gift of working for You alone.  When I work for You, I am unrestrained by the expectations and measurements of mankind.  I am thrust into the arms of my Father who delights in me and granted the best title of all - Daughter of the King.

Now See This

Matthew 7:3 Why do you look at the sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

It was February, 1991 at Samford University.  This equated with long hours of practice to learn lyrics and perfect choreography.  I, along with my sorority, had entered our school's Step Sing competition. 

A break came in the middle of one particularly arduous rehearsal.  We were released for thirty glorious minutes and I raced a car load full of my sisters to get "biggie" size drinks.  My drink was too massive to fit in my car's cup holder so I secured it between my legs as I bantered with my friends and stole sips at stoplights. 

We were just a few hundred feet from returning to our practice site when we hit a red light.  I celebrated the pause and dipped my head down to my drink for a quick gulp.  Apparently I missed my target because when I brought my head back up my straw came with me...suction cupped to my eyeball.

Today's reading is Matthew 22.  The bulk of what is recorded here is a series of attempted entrapments.  Groups who opposed Jesus try to ask questions He can't answer.  His responses are so well crafted that His accusers are amazed, astonished and left without reply. 

As I pictured the religious elite hurling their inquests at Jesus, I realized how misguided they were.  They interrogate when they should celebrate.  I am reminded of a teaching Jesus gave a few chapters back in Matthew 7 about how it is far easier to detect the speck in my sister's eye than the gigantic log which protrudes from my own.

When that straw got suction cupped to my eyeball, I felt first hand what it is like to ignore the plank in your own eye.  Here is a few of the lessons I learned:

• My Sight is Narrowed by my Straw - With that straw sticking out from me like a miniature plastic appendage, I could hardly manage to continue to drive.  How then is it that I think I see the dust in the eyes of another?  The answer is I can't.  I only think I see someone's faults.  In reality, I am blinded by my own.
• Removing my Straw is a Good Kind of Pain - My eye throbbed for some time after removal of the implement.  It was a pain well tolerated.  That ache signaled the restoration of my vision.  It hurts when I allow God to meddle in the places of my life I might rather keep covered by a log.  The pain is only intensified when that area is laid bare before God.  But it's a good kind of hurt.  It's the kind of hurt that signals my drawing closer to Jesus and seeing Him with restored vision.
• My Sight is Shifted when I Remove my Straw - Once obscured, my sight was restored when the straw was yanked from my eye.  My eyes no longer wandered about.  They were lasered on the road before me.  The same is true when I pry the spiritual flaw from my life.  I see clearly.  My sight is shifted to Jesus and the road He has before me.

Jesus, today I will not submit You or others to my inquisition.  Instead I will allow You to walk about in my heart and reveal the straw which protrudes from my own eye.  I will let You remove it.  Though painful, I will then see clearly the road You have set before me.

My Big Rock

Isaiah 28:16 See I lay a stone in Zion, a tested cornerstone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts in him will never be dismayed.

As we entered the auditorium last night to celebrate Easter, we were greeted by a row of bins brimming with rocks.  When I peered inside, I was catapulted back to a day in early August 2003.  My boyfriend and I were on an adventure in untamed Alaska.  One day we set out to hike to the precipice of a small roadside mountain.  For a bit we climbed together but eventually we both became enraptured in the quiet sounds of nature and the scent of untainted air.  We became separated.  When we reunited at the peak, my friend said, "I have something for you."

The small rock he placed in my hand didn't look so spectacular to me but in an attempt at politeness I smiled and urged him to proceed.  "A few years back," he continued, "I attended an executive seminar.  The leader gave us a small jar, a few large stones, many small ones and some sand.  He asked us to fill our jars with the provided materials.  None of us could make all the items fit in the jar.  The key he revealed to us was to place the largest items in the jar first.  Then and only then would everything fit.  The large rocks represented what was most important to us.  The message that we should place the highest priority on those whom we most love."  He paused, smiled and looked into my eyes as he whispered, "On this earth, you are my big rock."  It was at that precise moment that I knew I would someday become Mrs. Scott Milholland.

Today's passage is Matthew 21.  It's just a week before that first Easter Sunday.  Jesus rides triumphantly into Jerusalem as the masses sing His praise.  But when Jesus began to meddle the worship withered.  Jesus recites a portion of the 188th Psalm, "The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone."

Because the stone was moved from His tomb that first Easter morning, Jesus is the Cornerstone.  He is the only sure foundation on which I can build my life.  Not every instruction He gives is easy to swallow or follow but when I choose to believe God's Word in faith I build my life on solid ground.

Jesus, this Easter I celebrate the power that rolled the stone from the tomb.  That same power removed the stone that was my heart and filled me with Your love.  That same power is the stone on which I choose to set my life.  Jesus, You are my big rock.

The Power of Persistence.

Luke 18:1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

Hayleigh decided a couple years back that she wasn't a dancer, she was a cheerleader.  She had never turned a cartwheel but was confident.  She took tumbling classes, practiced for hours on our trampoline and progressed.  She didn't listen to those who told her she couldn't.  She found power in persistence.

This morning I read Matthew 20.  Recounted here is both teaching and healing.  It is final incident that draws my heart this Easter Eve.  Two blind men hear that Jesus will be passing by.  They wait for His coming.  The ground begins to quiver as Jesus grows closer.  The excitement in the air palpable.  They begin to cry out for Jesus' mercy.  The crowd attempts to quiet their pleas but they shout louder, knowing Jesus must be near.  Suddenly a hush falls over the crowd.  The ground and air fall still.  Jesus stops, peers directly into their glossy eyes and inquires, "What do you want me to do for you?"  God Himself had paused.

This Easter, every person will bring a request with them to the resurrected tomb.  Some long for a wayward child to return home.  Others are desperate for employment.  Another yearns to break free of a destructive habit or emotion.  The question is will we dare to ask Jesus? 

• When I Can Not See I Must Listen - Sometimes I don't ask because I don't see how an answer is possible.  In the midst of my blindness, I need to listen with me heart.  There God speaks and assures me He is at work even when I don't see it.
• When I am Not Heard I Must Dare to Speak Again - Having a difficult conversation with someone I love is not easy for me.  I run from conflict not to it.  When I unearth the deepest desires of my heart and lay them before God, it takes courage.  When He doesn't immediately respond, I must summon an additional measure of faith to ask once more. 
• When Jesus Invites I Must Respond - Jesus has asked me to tell Him what I need from Him.  He waits for my response.  There is power and freedom in laying my burdens at His feet.  He is able to transform my concerns into victory. 

Jesus, today I saw You passing my way.  You paused and bore straight into my eyes to ask me what I wanted?  This resurrection eve, I will remember that the same power that led to an empty tomb lives inside of me.  That same power stands ready to hear the burdens of my heart and take them from me.  On Easter Eve, I will practice the power of persistence.