I Only Have Eyes For You

Deuteronomy 4:29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

"Clara.  Clara, where are you?" I called repeatedly.  For the first ten minutes of my search I wasn't concerned.  Clara is so prone to wander that I nicknamed her "The Israelite" back when she was just a crawler.  It was after I entered every room in our house I began to think the worst.

Maybe she went to the playground across the street or to the neighbor's next door.  The idea of disobedience was looking great as opposed to the other options my brain conjured.  She was neither place.  By now I was crying and begging God to help me find her. 

I raced into the bedroom to make the 911 call.  I spotted her snuggled down in my comforter...fast asleep.  My joyful cry fell on dream-filled ears.

Today I read Psalm 15.  David contemplates the character of the person who seeks God with an undivided heart.  He uses words like righteous, blameless, truth and honor as descriptors.  These adjectives seem better suited for the likes of Mother Teresa than me. 

Those minutes I couldn't find Clara filled a decade of time.  I was desperate to find her.  I wonder how my walk with God would look if I pursued Him with the same vigor.  As I considered this the words focus and priority came to mind.

• Focus - No other thought than locating Clara crossed my mind but often when I sit with God my mind is a swirl of to dos.  To pursue God with passion, I need focus.
• Priority - No other person entered my mind during my hunt but God competes for brain space with a variety of relationship thoughts.  To fully engage, I need to give Him priority.

Jesus, I picture myself on a frantic search not for a misplaced child but for my misplaced focus and priority.  Today, I choose to give you my undivided attention and thought.  In these moments, I only have eyes for You.

Gripped by Grace

Psalm 139:10 ...your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

My heart raced.  Panic rose in my throat.  If I could just wake up, I thought I'd feel relief.  I didn't.  If possible, I was more frightened awake than I had been asleep.

Instinctively I moved closer to my husband.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm scared," I whispered back.  Thinking I must sound like a preschooler, I expected a reproof. 

Instead, he grabbed my hand and gently reassured me, "I'm not going anywhere."  With his hand fastened around mine, the relief I'd been anticipating washed over me.  My breathing slowed.  My rapid pulse subsided.  Sleep came once more.

Today's passage is Psalm 14. David makes an observation which Paul would later quote in Romans 3.  No person is godly.  In fact, we're all quite the opposite - filled with deceit and wrongdoing.

God's response is to remind David that He is present (verse 5).  God is not going anywhere.  No matter how badly I mess up, He's there holding my hand and reassuring me of His love.

His grace and forgiveness is not dependent on my goodness.  It is dependent on His.  How powerful to realize in my weakest moment, He is strong.  His grip never loosens.

As a part of a Bible story I was teaching this morning, I wrestled four elementary age boys...at the same time.  I was surprised to realize I could have taken the four of them down.  No boy wants to remember the day a church lady beat them and three friends at arm wrestling.  Grace and mercy forced my arm to fall back.

God doesn't arm wrestle me into submission.  He simply holds on.  How sweet to know that I'm in His grip of mercy and grace.

Jesus, hold my hand today.  I might squeeze tightly if I'm afraid.  I may raise my hand in a moment of victory.  I could stumble.  Whatever happens today, I want to be gripped by grace.

Moonlight Memories

Philippians 4:5b The Lord is near.

A sliver of moonlight slipped through the blinds.  The light played on her face as if the moon considered it a privilege to shine there.  "You're so precious," I whispered to the little body nestled in my arms.  I stroked her face and willed my heart to memorize every detail. 

I didn't know the hour of the night.  I didn't have to.  Sleeping in rooms nearby were my other children - 11, 8 and 1.  I knew as quickly as morning would come, so would pass these nighttime moments with my baby.  Soon I would peer down at the face of a young woman whose body had grown far longer than my arms.

Today I am reading Psalm 13.  David feels distant from God and cries out for intimacy.  Like the ebb and flow of the ocean tides, the rhythm of my walk with God moves over time.  Some mornings I awake and feel His presence so real and personal.  My soul is alive.  Other days I, like David, wonder where God is and why He seems far off.  My soul craves a connection with my Creator.

I spent countless hours watching my baby sleep.  Not once did my daughter question my whereabouts.  She slept at peace with the assurance her mom was watching over her.

As David ponders God's absence, he remembers His faithfulness.  He trusts His love.  He rejoices in His salvation.  He remembers His faithfulness.

My babies slept peacefully because they were confident of my care.  They didn't have to see me to know I was nearby.  They simply remembered my love and trusted my faithfulness.

God's presence is not dependent on my feelings.  He is near.  With care far more perfect than mine, God watches over each one of us.  I trust His love.  I rejoice in His salvation.  I remember His faithfulness.

Jesus, hold me through this night.  Walk with me through this day.  Your love and care won't fail.  I'll never be too big for Your arms.  May my moonlight memories remind me today of Your faithfulness.

The Road to Effective Communication

Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Some people are born fighters.  I am most assuredly not one of those.  When I find myself in the throws of conflict, my tongue falls silent.  It becomes cement in my mouth and fails to respond to my commands.

Today I read Psalm 12.  Here David contemplates the power of speech.  He notes too often it is used inappropriately - lies, false flattery and boasts.  The words of man stand in direct contrast to God's words.  His are flawless (verse 6).

No doubt my inability to make a verbal argument has saved me from regret. It has also, however, prevented me from giving the gift of an opposing point of view. When my tongue becomes paralyzed I remind myself as if I'm a toddler to use my words. If I stop and pray eventually the words come - words which bring wisdom instead of wreckage.

To invite God into my conflict communication style, I must put up new road signs:

• The Stop Sign - A stop sign is not a permanent destination.  It is a pause on the trip.  It is time to evaluate what's coming, consider options and make choices.  At the stop sign I pray.
• The Yield - A yield is an act of humility.  I allow the other to go first and honor them with my discipline.  At the yield I put others first.
• The Right of Way - The right of way signals my turn.  As I tune into God, He gives me the freedom to express myself in a manner that honors Him.  At the right of way I lovingly speak what's on my heart.

Jesus, Your words are flawless.  Today I want to travel on Your communication highway - not withdrawing and not recklessly charging ahead without mind of the road signs.  On your road I will stop, yield and take the right of way.

A Truth Revolution

Psalm 16:11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

The road to my divorce began when I  believed one lie - I would be happy if my husband loved me.  My path was paved when I believed the second - I would be fulfilled if any man truly loved me.

This morning I am reading Psalm 11.  David tackles the subject of longing.  He is yearning for a nation in which every heart is true to God.  In the midst of his contemplation, shots are fired in the dark at the upright of heart (verse 2). 

Paul would clarify centuries later that those shots are defended by the shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).  When I face a crisis moment in which I have to choose to believe a lie or the truth, I have to choose to take refuge with God and in His truth.

• When you feel lonely in your marriage - Run to Jesus
• When a friend betrays you - Run to Jesus
• When you receive bitterly disappointing news - Run to Jesus

If I run to Jesus and decide to walk with Him in faith, I extinguish the lie in my life with truth.  My path is laid in a new direction - His. 

Jesus, help me recognize a lie when it is whispered into my ear.  Give me enough strength to run to You and take up the shield of faith.  With that shield firmly in hand, lies are extinguished and Truth revealed.  My life becomes a Truth Revolution.

24/7/365

Psalm 139:7-8 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

A neighbor stopped Scott and I on our nightly walk a few nights back.  He wanted to apologize for being stand-off-ish.  Frankly, neither Scott nor I had noticed.  In fact, we would classify this man as just the opposite.  He is the kind of neighbor who is always ready with a kind word or gesture and shrugs off any gratitude directed his way.

This magnanimous neighbor went on to explain he had experienced a near total hearing loss in a matter of a few short weeks.  What he was saying made no sense.  How could that be?

A virus attacked his body wreaking havoc on his ear by destroying all the minuscule hairs in the inner ear which make sound reception possible.  Without those, he was left in a world with very little sound.

Today's passage is Psalm 10.  One of the things I appreciate about the Psalms is the various authors dare to ask questions the rest of us only think.  This particular Psalm opens with the inquiry, "Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?"

All of us have thought that at some point in our faith journey.  There has been a moment when things seemed impossibly tough and it seemed God was no where to be found.  We have a crisis of faith and wonder if God has abandoned us as He did Jesus on the cross 2,000 years ago.

I wonder if my neighbor thinks God has forgotten him?  The Creator who spoke galaxies into existence surely could have preserved the hearing of a man so humble he didn't even register the praise given him.  He did not.

When did you wonder if God had left you? 

Did God walk out along with your spouse?

Did your soul empty with your womb?

Did the unthinkable make God a figment of your imagination?

Later in the passage, the Psalmist answers his own question along with ours.  "You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry." 

Our pain is not unseen.  Our cries are not unheard.  God knows our hurt and feels our every pain deeper than we ever could.

Jesus, in the bleakest moment, You are still the Son who shines in our darkness.  Your arms of love reach down to us at our lowest.  You hear.  You encourage.  You listen.  You are with me - 24/7/365.

Concrete Parenting

Isaiah 33:6 He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.

“Mamaaaa,,” the tiny voiced wailed. Instinctively I turned toward the sound to locate the source. A skinned knee. A search for mom. No one answered. I saw the injured little boy and my natural inclination to nurture overwhelmed.

“Shhhh. Don’t worry. We’ll find your mama. Does your Mommy kiss your boo boos?” The sobs slowed to an occasional whimper. “Well, let’s find her. I’ll bet she can’t wait to give you the best boo-boo kiss ever.”

I spotted whom must be his mother. No wonder she hadn’t heard his cries. She was a harried mother with several preschool aged children. I delivered her son to her with a smile and waved off her thanks. There have been plenty of times when the situation might have been reversed.

Today’s reading is Psalm 9. David recounts the faithfulness of God. No matter how many foes rise against him, David finds peace, refuge and a listening ear in the arms of God.

In life’s playground there are exhilarating trips down the slide, adventures up the rock climbing wall but also missteps which cause pain. No matter how well I attempt to love my kids, my love falls short of the perfect love of God. I don’t always hear their cries for help. I fail to see their pain. I am thankful when my daughters fall, God is there to kiss their boo-boos. 

Jesus, You fill in my parenting gaps. You are the Comforter behind every kiss. You are the Celebrator of every accomplishment. You are the Cement under my feet.