Marriage is a Marathon

It was Mother's Day 2003. I wasn't really expecting a present from Scott. We weren't engaged. We weren't married. And I certainly wasn't yet the mother of his children. 

The package was simple in its presentation yet extravagant in its impact. The words Marathoning for Mortals blinked back at me. Mortal definitely described me. 

Often picked last in PE, I never believe I could run to the end of the block let alone mile after mile. My then boyfriend, saw an unexposed dream tucked in my heart. I wanted to run a marathon. I wanted to believe an unathletic, uncoordinated, ordinary single mom of two could run 26.2 miles.

Life happened. We got engaged. We got married. I bore two more daughters. 

Nearly ten years later I finally cracked the spine. Reading this book has been a delicious morsel of how-to and you-can. Every bite has tasted like inspiration.

As great as this book is as a marathon training guide, and I do highly recommend it, digesting it has reminded me of a different marathon - marriage. Each of Bingham and Hadfield's sections has called to my heart as a wife.

Getting Started

Even though we dated two years, Scott and I weren't entirely sure we were ready to marry. Divorce carves caverns of reluctance into your heart. Could two "marriage flunkies" really make it? We have and we will because as we got started we invited God into the center of our marriage.

Training

Just as long distance running requires a daily regimen of rest, cross-training, miles and nutrition, marriage requires daily care. Marriage needs rest - moments of quiet reflection on a walk, in bed or over coffee. Marriage needs cross-training - I need to do my other priorities well to maximize my life with my spouse. Marriage needs miles - marriage is a day in, day out commitment. As I log miles of encouragement, love and tenderness my heart becomes better trained for the distance. Marriage needs nutrition - I need to feed my marriage time and attention.

The Toolbox

Like a casual runner who leaps from a 5-K to a half-marathon in a week, some marriage issues get too big for just the couple to handle. In our toolbox, we need to pack mentors, counselors and resources. A mentor couple can smooth out the bumpy road of marriage. Counselors can help us around unexpected bends. Resources like seminars, books and Bible studies can keep us off relationship-breaking concrete and allow us to run on the cushion of wisdom.

Game Face

The best time to prepare for marital strife is before it occurs. When we pray together as a couple, invite God into our marriage and live according to Biblical guidelines, our marital game face is secure.

John "The Penguin" Bingham &
Coach Jenny Hadfield,
co-authors of "Marathoning for Mortals"

Training Plans

Just as a runner can't peel off 26.2 miles without a plan, neither can we experience success in marriage without a plan. We need to make a plan together. How often will we date? What time will we spend together each day? How will we stay emotionally connected? All these questions and more need to be addressed in our mutually agreed upon marriage training plan.

Thank you, John Bingham and Jenny Hadfield, for your book. I will run my first marathon December 1st. I will be better prepared because you so kindly shared your wisdom. But I will also be more prepared to run one of the most important races of my life - the one that begins with "I do" and ends with "death us do part".