Marriage is a Marathon


It was Mother's Day 2003. I wasn't really expecting a present from Scott. We weren't engaged. We weren't married. And I certainly wasn't yet the mother of his children. 

The package was simple in its presentation yet extravagant in its impact. The words Marathoning for Mortals blinked back at me. Mortal definitely described me. 

Often picked last in PE, I never believe I could run to the end of the block let alone mile after mile. My then boyfriend, saw an unexposed dream tucked in my heart. I wanted to run a marathon. I wanted to believe an unathletic, uncoordinated, ordinary single mom of two could run 26.2 miles.

Life happened. We got engaged. We got married. I bore two more daughters. 

Nearly ten years later I finally cracked the spine. Reading this book has been a delicious morsel of how-to and you-can. Every bite has tasted like inspiration.

As great as this book is as a marathon training guide, and I do highly recommend it, digesting it has reminded me of a different marathon - marriage. Each of Bingham and Hadfield's sections has called to my heart as a wife.

Getting Started

Even though we dated two years, Scott and I weren't entirely sure we were ready to marry. Divorce carves caverns of reluctance into your heart. Could two "marriage flunkies" really make it? We have and we will because as we got started we invited God into the center of our marriage.

Training

Just as long distance running requires a daily regimen of rest, cross-training, miles and nutrition, marriage requires daily care. Marriage needs rest - moments of quiet reflection on a walk, in bed or over coffee. Marriage needs cross-training - I need to do my other priorities well to maximize my life with my spouse. Marriage needs miles - marriage is a day in, day out commitment. As I log miles of encouragement, love and tenderness my heart becomes better trained for the distance. Marriage needs nutrition - I need to feed my marriage time and attention.

The Toolbox

Like a casual runner who leaps from a 5-K to a half-marathon in a week, some marriage issues get too big for just the couple to handle. In our toolbox, we need to pack mentors, counselors and resources. A mentor couple can smooth out the bumpy road of marriage. Counselors can help us around unexpected bends. Resources like seminars, books and Bible studies can keep us off relationship-breaking concrete and allow us to run on the cushion of wisdom.

Game Face

The best time to prepare for marital strife is before it occurs. When we pray together as a couple, invite God into our marriage and live according to Biblical guidelines, our marital game face is secure.
John "The Penguin" Bingham &
Coach Jenny Hadfield,
co-authors of "Marathoning for Mortals"

Training Plans

Just as a runner can't peel off 26.2 miles without a plan, neither can we experience success in marriage without a plan. We need to make a plan together. How often will we date? What time will we spend together each day? How will we stay emotionally connected? All these questions and more need to be addressed in our mutually agreed upon marriage training plan.

Thank you, John Bingham and Jenny Hadfield, for your book. I will run my first marathon December 1st. I will be better prepared because you so kindly shared your wisdom. But I will also be more prepared to run one of the most important races of my life - the one that begins with "I do" and ends with "death us do part". 

22 comments:

  1. This is so well said...marriage is a marathon. Training is always needed

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  2. I guess I didn't prepare for my marriage very well. Actually, we were so different in every way, I;m surprised we lasted 15 years. If (and that is a BIG if) I decide to remarry, I'll keep these pointers in mind.

    Good luck on your marathon. Stopping by from VoiceBoks!

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    1. Laura I am praying for a big work of God in your life. God brought my Scott when I least expected it!

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  3. Wow your so ambitious. I would never make it. That coming from the person who dreaded the timed mile for P.E. You hit a great point about marriage. You do need a plan. If you don't want to fall apart then you need to actively work to stay connected.

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    1. You know I used to think the same thing. You never know what God can do. Someday the running bug just might bite you too! :) But if not...let's keep marathoning in our marriages!

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  4. Marriage certainly is a marathon full of joys and pain along the way. Thank you!

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    1. Definitely. From time to time we get injured and we have to go to rehab. :)

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  5. I love this analogy Shannon! My husband and I will have 20 years together this year, and sometimes I can't believe I'm running this marathon;)

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  6. These are such great tips. My hubby and I are celebrating 10 years this year. I feel like we're definitely in it for the entire 26.2 miles! Our lives have never been easy (as you may remember with our differences), but we've always pulled through. I think we could use a little more training and planning, but we're making it!

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  7. Thank you for this wonderful blog and speical thanks for your openness. I am glad that in English and in many different languages ​​books are written, which are helpful for us. That is great!

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    1. I do love books. My "ideal" day is snuggling under the covers of the bed and reading a book cover to cover!

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  8. I love this post! I just celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary. We definately had some struggles in the beginning but we have learned to compromise and work them out. My parents divorced when I was young, then each got remarried and divorced again several years later. So I have learned out important it is keep training.

    Good luck with your marathon in Dec! There is just something about crossing that finish line. I did my first marathon in 2003 with my Grandma! She is now 75 years old as much as I hate to admit this can beat me across the finish line. But it is so much fun to get my cousins together and run the race together.

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    1. Oh Marisa, I totally wish I could meet your Grandma! What an incredible woman she must be. I know you're thankful to be her granddaughter. :)

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  9. Love this post. Marriage does take work and effort. You have to be commited to it through all the miles, much like a marathon. Great advice.

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    1. And the best part is we get to cross the finish line regularly when we experience those moments of marital intimacy that are so sweet and surreal.

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  10. Oh Shannon, how exciting for you!!! Are you nervous? 26.2 miles is quite the journey and a lot of training. I think it's so awesome that you'll be running your first marathon. I'm praying for you and cheering you on!! You go girl...you go girl... you go girl!!! :)

    Hugs,
    ~Rosann

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    1. Yes! I'm crazy nervous. In fact, I'm having trouble sleeping on Friday nights because I get so excited about my long Saturday morning runs. My hubby thinks I'm nuts...and let's face it, I probably am! :)

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  11. Oh I really love this post and the caverns it explores.

    Aloha,
    Following ya now from the hop and loving the way your words weave in and out of life and books and marriage. Beautiful.

    We're spending the very sweetest of Wordless Wednesday afternoons with just the sweetest of friends and I'd love it if you'd join us for a link up and a chance to win a cup of something yummy.

    xo,
    Nicole
    localsugarhawaii.com

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    1. Nicole, what a sweet and generous invitation. Unfortunately I don't participate in Wordless Wednesday but can't wait to stop by and check out your pics!

      Thanks for your sweet visit here. Hope you return soon!

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