The Twelve Days of Christmas - The Gift of Belonging

Let us not give up meeting together, 

as some are in the habit of doing, 

but let us encourage one another—

and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:25

I wish I could sit down with every one of you this Christmas. I want us to share a cup of cocoa or coffee, to chat and to hear each other's Christmas dreams. But since I can't be with most of you in person this December, I wanted to give you a gift this year. In fact I'm giving you 12 of them. Each day - Monday through Friday for the next 12 days, I will be sharing with you the 12 gifts I most want you to have this Christmas season.

The first is the gift of belonging.

Three years ago today I wasn't trimming a tree; I was trimming our household belongings as I prepared to downsize and move from Dallas to Memphis. My hubby had already made his way here. Soon the movers would pack up my memories as I packed up our children, and move us hundreds of miles away...just in time for Christmas.

I know I purchased and wrapped Christmas presents that year but frankly I can't remember any of them. Because...

More than any toy...

Better than the latest fashion...

I wanted to give my family one gift for Christmas - the gift of belonging.

That year we attended Christmas Eve service with strangers. We unwrapped our hearts in the presence of the unknown. We stepped out in faith into a community where we knew no one.

We needed the gift of belonging.

Belonging doesn't just happen. It's one of those gifts I have to give myself. I have to choose to make time for a women's Bible study. I have schedule the hours to attend a small group. I need to select an hour to get to know Christian friends. I can only truly belong with others if I first belong to Him.

The thing is I'm not the only one who needs the gift of belonging. You need it too.

Will you let me give you this gift this year? Will you let yourself be more authentic and less concerned with appearances? Will you make time for relationships that matter and let go of ones that don't? It may require attending Christmas Eve service with strangers but if you choose belonging and stay the course, eventually belonging will choose you too.

The Behavior of Belonging

O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, 

for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.

Isaiah 25:1

"When I marry, Milholland will become my middle name, right Mommy?" piped up my seven year old last week. 

"Yes, honey, just like Mommy you will get a new name when you get married."

Clara then proceeded trying out the last name of every boy she knows that she finds even remotely appealing. Suddenly some of these boys became more or less attractive on the sole basis of how good their last name sounded with her first. This little exercise reminded me of the time in college when I met a very handsome, friendly and godly young man whom I repelled the second I found out his last name was Shannon. There was absolutely no way I was going through life as a perpetual stutter. 

Hi. I'm Shannon Shannon.

That was definitely NOT going to work for me. 

But eventually I did find a name that fit and not because it sounded good with Shannon (although I think it kind of does). It fit because I was inspired by the one who bore that name. He is my guy and I want to be a credit to his name. I belong to him and he belongs to me. 

Belonging should influence my behavior. 

Because my children are mine, I give them grace.

Because my husband is mine, I speak kindly about him.

Because my friend is mine, I keep her confidence.

But the truth is I'm not always a credit to my husband's name. Sometimes I undermine his authority with our kids. Or I overspend even when I know better. Or I tell a story better left unsaid because I want the laugh more than I want him to feel respected. My track record isn't spotless in my other relationships either.

And sometimes I'm not the one who does a poor job at belonging.

You give your child the very best of your heart and home, only to have him walk away from it and not return.

You give your spouse the best years of your life, only to have her leave you.

You give your friend your time, only to have her take advantage of your kindness.

So how can I allow belonging to influence my behavior? By relying on His perfect faithfulness. When I glorify His name, He gives my mind patience to deal with another request from my kids. When I exalt Him, He gives my heart room to love my husband another day. When I adore him, He me the confidence to be a better friend.

O Lord, You are my God. When I choose Him, I choose faithfulness. Belonging influences my behavior.