Resurrecting Your Home Life



I married the love of my life on 6/5/04 at 3 in the afternoon. We entered the church as 2 and left as 1. My geeky math major heart beat wildly at the prospect. If I was completely honest though, I'd tell you we entered the church as 4 and left as 1. I brought two young daughters into the marriage with me. We all stood at the altar. We all exchanged vows. That day wasn't just the beginning of a marriage; it was the genesis of a family.

Day one we carted kids to school, churned out homework and activities. We married into the crazy stage of multiple kids most couples take years to encounter. Crazy is our honeymoon phase. We wanted to honor our marriage first as our most important human relationship. We desired to have Christ at the center of our family with time for family worship in the home around the dinner table. Our home life needed a resurrection. Every day can be a new beginning with these strategies:

First Things First
In our home the master suite is on the first floor. With our children tucked upstairs, we have a living representation of our family priorities. We have to fight for couple time. We leave our little kids with their older sisters and go on a weekly date because we believe our need to connect as a couple supersedes their need to socialize with friends.

We scratch for time together. We go on walks after dinner, "nap" on Sunday afternoons, kiss in the kitchen and hold hands at church. We make our minutes count and we count our minutes. With the combination of intentional time together and intentional use of the time we get, we keep our marriage strong.

Who's on Second?
We have four daughters who range in age from preschool to high school. One is receiving letters from colleges while another learns her letters. Our teens are highly involved in our church. A minimum of three nights a week they attend youth activities. They each participate in one activity at school. They have friends, school assignments and interests.

We could easily be a family who dines nightly at three different fast food joints and scarfs our food on the run in three separate cars. We choose something else. We schedule nights for family dinner. Even if our "banquet" is as simple as waffles and eggs or chicken pot pie, we gather together around our kitchen table. We can't connect if we're not together.

I say no to nights out with the girls. Scott says no to purely social evening outings with the guys. We limit our kids to one activity apiece. We say no so we can say to each other.

Wherever You Are, Be All There
This is my favorite quote my martyr missionary Jim Elliot. It reminds me to fully engage with my family whether we're cooking dinner over homework or riding bikes around the block. It encourages me to finish my housework early so I have time for house play. It beckons my heart to God each morning so I have enough of Him to be enough for my family.

Balance is a fight. Priorities are a struggle. It is a war worth waging. Just as Christ fought and won the victory for us on Easter, let's be willing to fight and win a daily victory in our homes. Let's live the resurrection so that Easter isn't an event, it's a lifestyle.

18 comments:

  1. Beautiful and inspiring Shannon. I'm doing some soul searching about this very subject today. :)

    Blessings to you my friend,
    ~Rosann

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    1. Rosann, I feel even closer to you since we're on a joint project. I love seeing little snapshots into your home life. Knowing you breathes new life into my heart!

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  2. Beautiful and much need post for young moms! BUT we grandmas and grandpas can learn a thing or two here also -- like taking a break from your favorite pastimes to kiss in the kitchen, hold hands in church, make him his favorite pie, he brings in a bouquet from the yard -- all things keep our relationship the priority. Thanks for reminding us of the joys of loving and living together.

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    1. Sherrey, so true - it is never to early or too late to revitalize our marriage and home!

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  3. I know we haven't met (yet!) but I love your heart Shannon! It shines through in your writing! God is working sister! Thank you for sharing! -Blessings, Amy

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    1. Awwww, thanks Amy. I'm greatly looking forward to the day we do get to meet!

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  4. "Balance is a fight. Priorities are a struggle." - It seems to me that you've figured it out already. It's so wonderful to hear about families who really make an effort to do things together since quality time is so important.

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    1. Anne, I couldn't agree more. We want to invest in our most important earthly relationships and the best investment we can make is time! :)

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  5. Beautiful post! Our bedroom is not on the first floor, but it is set apart -- no kids may enter without permission. Some might find that weird, but it is our marital cocoon. Our place for just us. I welcome the kids as guests now and then, but they may never stay.

    We're in the same stage -- making final college decisions this week for our oldest. Our youngest is still learning to add, subtract and tell time. We wouldn't know each other if it weren't for family dinners.

    We just got back from Paris and our favorite "souvenir" is a new thing -- bedtime dessert. Before the little one gets tucked in at night, we all join at the table (after church activities, work, etc that might keep us apart at dinner) for dessert and "coffee." Little one gets milk. Middle one gets milk with a dash of decaf. We slow down and savor it.

    And we close with a family bedtime prayer. I love it!

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    1. Karen, that is such a precious idea! I'm going to put that in the Milholland family suggestion kitty. Love it!

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  6. Beautiful words. I think you are absolutely right. Balance is the key and make the moments count. ;)

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    1. Sometimes when I reflect on just how many moments I've been given it blows my mind. Each one is a gift!

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  7. I'm with you 100%. We limit our kids to 1 activity too, but our daughters drama requires 5 nights a week for rehearsals 5 months out of the school year. Wish we could re-think that one, but she loves it and is blossoming in it. We're building our bedroom clear on the other end of the house from the kids bedrooms. Personal time and dates are a must! Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

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    1. I am excited for you to get your new house! :)

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  8. I love the quote by missionary. Everyone needs to live by it!

    I'm following you from the VoiceBoks M2R event!
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    I also voted for you on Picket Fence Blogs. :)

    I hope you have a great rest of your week!

    -Courtney
    optimisticmommy.com
    peaceloverecipes.com

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    1. Thanks for going so far above and beyond, Courtney! Super sweet!

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  9. Preach it Girl! 9 years after having our 3 children we were able to go on an overnight date! I want more of those and I believe we need to make a habit out of our date nights. We are just so busy with extra-curricular activities, and then having no blood relatives around. It gets hard, but we are blessed to have church family willing to take our younguns for a few hours. This is an inspiring post! Thank you!

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    1. I feel your pain. We have no moms or sisters nearby either but also have the blessing of a great church family. Aren't you thankful? I know I am! :)

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