Last night my husband and I had a fight. We felt misunderstood, unheard and possessed felt needs that are currently going unmet. He wants me to be more of the wife he desires and I want him to be more of the husband I desire. Therein lies the problem. We were too busy considering what we each want ourselves to consider the other person.
This Christmas Eve morning my reading is from James 4. I only have to read the first verse to know with certainty that Jesus is aware of what's happening in my life and ready at all times to walk with me right where I am. "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battles within you? You want something but don't get it." (Verses 1-2a) Yes Jesus it is true that selfish desires battle within me. I want certain things from my husband and when I don't get them I find myself disappointed and disillusioned. Thankfully you don't leave me at verse one. You always offer hope and healing.
"You do not have, because you do not ask God." (Verse 2b) Typically this verse is quoted within the context of the power of prayer. Indeed prayer is powerful and faith even the size of the tiny mustard seed leads to powerful and effective prayers. Today though God is speaking this verse into my heart not in the framework of my prayer life but instead into the fabric of my marriage.
- I'm Asking the Wrong Person - My husband is not the meeter of my needs; God is. He is the supplier of good things that never runs short on inventory and whose delivery service is more reliable and speedy than overnight FedEx. Shannon, stop asking your husband to meet the most tender needs of your heart. That is a place God alone can serve.
- I Fail to Ask - I want my husband to be a master swami who can use the Vulcan Mind Meld to anticipate my every wish and desire. Since I'm a woman my dear husband can scarcely understand my needs if I spell them out word for word. He has no chance if I do not communicate. I do not have, because I do not ask. Shannon, start asking for what you need. Just be certain to ask the right person.
Three of my four children were born via C-Section. I had the privilege of knowing in advance the day they would be born and preparing my heart and mind for the coming event. On that first Christmas Eve, Mary had no way of knowing the life that would change the world would come tomorrow. On this Christmas Eve I have the advantage of knowledge. I know that the presents so precious no person can give, Jesus has already wrapped up for me. He knows what I need. I just need to ask the right person.
Jesus, thank you for this special Christmas Eve present. You have wrapped a treacherous night of conflict in the beauty of forgiveness and healing. You have changed my heart because You have shown me how to stop thinking just of me and how to find You in the midst of my conflict. Today my attitude will be the same as Yours with all that is in me. I will set aside my selfish ambition and vain conceit and simply ask You with child-like faith to meet my needs.