Candy Land

Many of our homes will be filled with candy tonight, so here's a special Halloween post...


Hebrews 13:5 Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

I was walking around the living room frothing and working myself up into Threat Level Red mom fit as I picked up a trail of candy wrappers that would cause envy even in the likes of Hansel and Gretel. It was a just a few days past Halloween and my home had been converted to a candy wrapper trauma center.

As I huffed, puffed and picked up wrappers, I flashed back to a Christmas over a decade ago when I had "graciously" provided the candy wrapper pick-up duty for my nieces and nephews. As I did so, I thought to myself what a great mom I was to my solitary child whom I had in my watchful eye at all times. She would never be so inconsiderate because I was after all a superior mother and wouldn't raise a child with such poor manners.

Turns out I was absolutely correct. I didn't raise a child with sub-par candy wrapper manners; I raised four of them.  Ouch!

Immediately my candy wrapper pity party evaporated as I considered my heart - past and present. I realized that long ago I set unrealistic standards for mothering that no person could ever uphold.

Are you ever tempted to rate your performance as a mom based on imaginary standards such as candy wrappers? I am and it catapults me straight into the eye of a mommy storm. I feel like a failure as a mom and project my children’s foolish behavior onto myself. I mark my grade with the proverbial “F”.

When I’m tempted to go this bad mommy place, I think of my parent - the Heavenly One. He doesn’t throw a fit when my heart gets polluted by sinful attitudes. He doesn’t get huffy when cross words float from my lips as easily as litter flutters to the floor. He knows my behavior is not a reflection of Him. He sees beyond my packaging to my heart.

There He inserts the sweetness of His grace as He whispers, “Pick up the wrappers and hand them to me. I can handle your litter.” What freedom in knowing He doesn’t keep a report card. What great comfort in realizing God stands with me even in my worst moments as a mom. 

When my serving tank runs low, I can pull into His filling station.

If I feel under qualified or overworked, I can access His resume.

When feelings of inadequacy or failure threaten to flood, He will dam the river.

Jesus, You never grumble when I drop candy wrappers or any of my other garbage in Your lap. No matter how many times You've taught me a lesson, You just gently remind me of Your truth once again. You love me. Period. No expectations.

This morning You are a "Post-it note" to my heart of how important it is for me to stay tuned into You. Today may Your patience with me be reflected in my dealings with my kids, my spouse and anyone else who happens along my candy-wrapper ladened life.

24 comments:

  1. Great, thoughtful post. I do this far too often.

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  2. Thanks Shannon! This is me every day especially since I am a single mom. I feel that F many many times a day. Nice to know I am not the only one. :-)

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  3. i was the greatest parent on earth. until i had children! great perspective today.

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  4. I have given myself numerous "F's" for what I classified as bad parenting! What an encouragement you are Shannon and I'm so grateful for this example and this love... "There He inserts the sweetness of His grace as He whispers, “Pick up the wrappers and hand them to me. I can handle your litter.” What freedom in knowing He doesn’t keep a report card. What great comfort in realizing God stands with me even in my worst moments as a mom." Blessings!

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  5. "Are you ever tempted to rate your performance as a mom based on imaginary standards such as candy wrappers?" Yes and have used other crazy things as a plumb line to rate myself against... imaginary, unattainable standards. I can't tell you how much it blesses me that you too are just like me!:)

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  6. Theresa, I think we all do. Isn't it great to stick together as moms. Why don't we have a Halloween bonfire and burn our "perfection" cards?

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  7. Sabrina, Oh how I remember the balancing act as a single mom. Now I'm a married one and I still don't get it right. So thankful when I fall, I fall on God's grace.

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  8. Kendal, so funny - "I was the greatest parent on earth; until I had children."

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  9. Heidi, love walking with you, my friend. You spur others on as you go.

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  10. Kelli, I've known for quite some time we are peas in a pod. :)

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  11. Oh, I don't even want to think of the terrible grade I'd give myself. I can so relate to this post. I always thought to myself..."not my kids...I'll do things differently...my kids will be well-mannered and perfect." God is showing me regularly how imperfect I am as a mother and how much I need to rely on Him for patience and grace. I have been blessed with really wonderful children and they are well-mannered more often than not. I just need to remember to praise them when they are doing great so I'm not so ticked off when they slip up. Great post!

    Blessings,
    Rosann

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  12. Thanks for this post. I needed a post-it note on my fore head like frontlets. I needed this today before I "litter" my wrong attitude on my little part of the world.

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  13. I love your candy wrapper pity party analogy.

    I sent you an email yesterday notifying you that you are the winner of my ‘Mama, When Will I Be Popular?’ contest. I’ve not heard from you yet so you might want to check your spam folder. Please contact me with your mailing address as soon as possible! Congratulations!

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  14. Rosann, love your perspective to praise the positives!

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  15. Thomasina, I am so with you. I need reminders throughout the day. So glad this could be one for you!

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  16. Becky Jane, so sorry I didn't get your email but so psyched to be your winner. I'm honored. :)

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  17. StickyLittleFingers, so glad to know I'm not alone!

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  18. Great post, Shannon! I love the "sticky note" to yourself. I love your site and am glad we were able to meet! I am following you now, too.

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  19. Hi Shannon,
    I enjoyed this post so much. My son is grown now with a family of his own, but I can't tell you how many times he opened a piece of candy and handed me the wrapper. The funny thing is that I took it without even thinking about it and put it in my purse, then wondered later how my purse got so messy. I love your site.
    Blessings,
    Linda

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  20. Hi Shannon,

    I love this post. I particularly like the question you pose "Are you ever tempted to rate your performance as a mom based on imaginary standards such as candy wrappers?" I have done that so-o-o many times with my thoughts of an always clean house, always perfectly behaved children, always perfectly cooked organic meals on time everyday, and full days of homeschooling where distractions do not occur. I have often given myself a big fat F. LOL! I thank Jesus for His continued grace and mercy as I stumble through this humbled walk with Him.

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  21. Jamie, I'm afraid I'm a bit of a slow learner. God needs to probably leave me a few more sticky note reminders... ;)

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  22. LifeAfterCaregiving, that is so funny. My purse is always overflowing with gum wrappers...from gum I didn't give my kids permission to chew... lol

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  23. Uh Sheri, you had me at organic meals. Can't say I've EVER done that. You deserve an "A" for sure. :)

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