Remote Control

You have made your way around this hill country long enough; 
now turn north.
Deuteronomy 2:3

As women our controlling tendencies can crop up before we can even tie our shoes. 

Like one of Carynne's best friends about whom her mom said, 'Avery is a really bossy "teacher". Nobody gets skittles. Everybody gets yelled at. And everybody gets told that they need to "think about their attitude".' Or my oldest, Hannah, who named her first baby doll no-no probably because those are the words she heard me say most frequently.

I wouldn't have called myself controlling. I'd have called it something more palatable like driven or high-achieving but when I took my friend, Karen Ehman's, "Are You Controlling?" quiz in her new book Let. It. Go., I scored way higher than I wanted to. I'm a girl who loves to ace a test and get gold star on my paper but that was one test I was hoping to fail...

You might not consider yourself controlling either but here's a couple descriptions of the softer, subtler side of control you might want to ponder (summarized from Let. It. Go.):

The Soft Spoken Saint  - This girl rarely says no and she won't let you down. She's super kind and someone on whom others both rely and feel they owe something to. She quietly controls others with her kindness.

The Enabler - She is her kids backup plan for forgotten lunches and papers and they call on her to do so regularly. She finds herself excusing the behavior of her kids and smoothing things over in her relationships both in the house and out in the community. She wants her family to have a good reputation and image control is her key to obtaining it.

The Victim or Martyr - She will let you know what she wants with subtle pouts and sighs. Her facial expression is sunny 99% of the time. You know you're in trouble when it's overcast at home. Because she's usually so upbeat, she gets her way with even slightest threat of bad weather.

The People Pleaser - She sees the best in other people and let's them know it. She listens carefully to know what is expected of her and will say the right thing in any situation. She's the most well-spoken-of person on staff or the PTA or in your Bible Study. Because she's so well liked, others do what she requests with no questions asked.

I thought I wasn't controlling but I saw myself in all four of these. I am more of what I'll call a remote controller. I'm not all up right in front of the television changing the channel for all to see, I'm quietly pushing the buttons and no one (often including me) even knows it.

As stated in today's scripture, I've circled this mountain long enough. It's time for me to turn north. I need a different Remote Control. My kids, hubby and friends need me to let go so God can step in to do what only He's qualified to do - run my life. So today I'm going to pry the fingers from the remote control and give Him control but I'm also going to implement the godly wisdom Karen so freely shared in her book. 

Want to join me on the road to freedom as we stop running the show and start walking in faith? Share a comment below and enter to win a FREE copy of Karen's book as well as be entered to win a Kindle Fire!

Want another chance to win a Kindle Fire? Sign up for Karen's 5 day Let.It.Go. Christmas Challenge. Get more info here:


  1. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom from reading Karen's book, Let.It.Go. After reading your blog, I myself can relate and can also admit that I am a "remote controller" as well. I also need to let go so God can step in to do what only He's qualified to do - run my life. Thank you again and I hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving!

  2. When I first read through the descriptions, I thought "I'm none of those! Whew!" But I read them again, and saw that there is a a little of me in all of them! I too, have circled that mountain without even really realizing it. Ready to turn north!

  3. I've seen this book all over the internet! It sounds like something I need to read. Thanks for the chance to win!

  4. Love your writing and your descriptions of the seemingly uncontrolling controller. Oh my, you are spot on. Yes, I see a bit of myself in your descriptions. And yes, yes I do want to join you on the road to freedom.

  5. Wow- I didn't realize all the different ways we control! I really need to win this book!!!

  6. More and more intrigued by this book!

  7. Oh wow! This is an eye opener. I know I'm controlling, but never ever gave thoughts to other types of control. Time to win the book so I can learn more! Jenny - jenfritz76 at yahoo dot com

  8. This sounds like a fantastic book! I'm looking forward to the upcoming study.

  9. Great post, again! I to can see a little of myself in each of the profiles, but much less than my younger self. I have let go and let GOD in my mommyhood. Such a blessing to see His work perfected in me and my children. Natalie

  10. Ugh - I can see myself in both the People Pleaser and the Martyr. I guess I'm more controlling than I think

  11. Love the remote control analogy and I can see myself in that as well!

  12. Ouch...raised my hand on all 4 of those too. Hard to believe I have time to do anything with all four of those women fighting for control in my head. LORD take control.

  13. Thanks for the chance to win!

  14. I have tried most, if not all, of these but without any success. LOL. It must be God who does it.

  15. Wow!! I would love to win this...I see myself in a number of those choices...I do need this help!!
    Sherri Jackson


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