Listen Up

Everyone should be quick to listen.

James 1:19

Sex.

How could my precious little seven year old utter such a grown up word? I'd heard inappropriate words fall my girls' lips before so I wasn't entirely surprised. And thanks to my vast parenting expertise I knew just what to do in the situation.

1) Don't react.
2) Ask my child if she knows what _____ means.
3) Calmly explain why we don't use the word.

My flawless execution of my parenting plan was followed by a barrage of repentant tears. Chalk one up for my nomination as Mother of the Year. 

A day later I was in the laundry room folding clothes when my daughter walked in with that inquisitive look on her face. 

"Mom, I can ask you anything right?"

"Of course, Sweetie."

"Can you explain exactly what's wrong with saying the word snacks?"

Ouch.

I had clearly wasted a perfectly good mom lecture. Worse I now had some apologizing of my own to do. 

Sometimes I'm not a much better listener with my Father than I am with my kids. I lay out my requests to Him and wait in confident expectation He will answer. I wait until I see a glimpse of what I expect to hear and than charge full-force in my self-determined direction. 

Instead I need to listen up - to turn my focus toward God and give Him my undivided attention without expectation. 

Do you ever jump to conclusions when try talking with God? How do you clear the air and tune into His voice instead of your own thoughts?

Unrestrained Passion

The words of the reckless pierce like swords. 

Proverbs 12:18

It was one of those calls you don't want to receive. My mom was sick. Really sick. Hospitalized with a ruptured appendix, I feared sepsis.

I quickly loaded my three children - 10, 7 and 1, and my five week pregnant body into the car for the 8 hour drive separating me from my ailing mother. After several days of recovery, she was released to her home for further recuperation. Another of my sisters was headed in to take my place so I made arrangements to head home.

To accommodate my unplanned trip, my ex-husband generously agreed to a delay of his visitation with my oldest two. Since I was so early in my pregnancy, I had to fight exhaustion to rise at four am for the all-morning drive back to my home.

Unfortunately along the way we ran into multiple traffic delays. My already tiring trip was punctuated by irritable inquiries from my ex as to the exact timing of my return. In the midst of this my oldest confessed she had left her orthodontic retainer at home. Freshly out of braces, she couldn't go another night without her appliance. 

Three hours after my promised return time my car limped into our driveway. There was no retainer in my daughter's bedroom. In truth, she had misplaced it. Her confession of its home location was just a childish ploy to delay facing consequences.

One too many hours short on sleep and fielding one too many accusatory questions from my ex and all the stress and strain of the prior days bubbled up my throat, out my mouth and straight into the heart of my daughter.


My words were harsh.

My tone was hateful.

I painfully failed her as a loving mother and a woman of restraint. 

To this day it remains my biggest parenting regret.

But God is bigger than my biggest parenting failure. He used this life moment to retrain my tongue. I realized the only safe place to bring my frustration is to His ear. Today, as I rant and rave, He restores and replenishes my heart.

I have my Father's ear. There He gives me a safe place to unfurl unrestrained passion. When I give Him an ear full, He gives me a heart full. I go to Him empty and come away with plenty.

Is God a safe place for you? If not, where you unload your deepest hurts?

I Have God on Speed Dial

Who among you fears the Lord

and obeys his servant?

If you are walking in darkness,

    without a ray of light,

trust in the Lord

    and rely on your God.

¹¹ 

But watch out, you who live in your own light

    and warm yourselves by your own fires.

Isaiah 50:10-11 NLT

A few quick errands became hours spent away from home punctuated by feedings, diaper changes and spit up. I was just pulling into the garage on a scorching Texas day when I realized my newborn was blissfully asleep in the back seat. Wanting her to sleep as long as possible, I kept the garage door up and the engine running while I shuttled my purchases inside. 

I saved the best bundle for last. My plan was to stealthily dislodge her car seat from the base and place the whole thing inside the crib. If I made sloth-like movements, she just might finish out her nap and give me a few minutes to locate the sanity I'd lost somewhere between  the dry cleaners and Costco.

I gently slid up her door handle. It didn't move.
I opened the door with a bit more persistence. It didn't move.
I gave it an all out yank. It didn't move.

Alarm raced up my spine as I realized my baby was locked inside my car. 

My gut dialed 9-1-1. I wasn't sure if they'd bring handcuffs with them or just a copy of the Bad Mom Award but the fire department arrived in mere moments. A quick survey of my situation brought out the slim jim and some judgmental glances.

"Um, Mam, do you perchance have Onstar?"

I mumbled a tentative, "Yes."

"Did you call them already?"

"Uh, no."

Judgement evaporated by the cloud cover of humored, yet straight faces.

The fire fighters showed me the number for OnStar posted, for my convenience, on the outside of my window and suggested I try them first. Seconds later my doors clicked, their engine roared and my baby slept through it all.

Sometimes I try to find my own way out of a situation. I plot a conversation or ponder a problem. I walk by the light of my own fire. OnStar should have been my first call, not my last. God shouldn't be my last call either.

When you light a candle, there's a moment between the spark and when the object actually takes the fire. I need to invite Him into my struggle at the first spark. In the pause between the spark and the blaze is the opportunity to overcome my circumstances instead of allowing them to overcome me.

Do you ever walk by the light of your own fire? How could God's light change your situation?
_________________________________

I was privileged this week to guest post at Patheos for my friend, Bill Blankshaen. Do you ever wonder what your pastor's wife would say if you overheard her true confession? Well I am a pastor's wife and this is mine... http://bit.ly/Z4sDgc

He Walks on Water...And Cleans the Carpet

I was only in the laundry room for five minutes. Okay maybe it was ten minutes. Top. I've never taken a stopwatch in there with me but it was the span of time it takes to trade out the  wash. 

I went in to clean some clothes...

I came out to find my toddlers finger painting our stone fireplace surround with food coloring.

Hands, clothes and faces were splashed with blue and green. A sea swirled around the stone while little droplets of "ocean water" decorated the carpet. I knew the color would eventually wear off of their skin. I wasn't as confident about my stone and carpet. 

I threw the girls in the bath with one hand and dialed a carpet cleaner with the other.

"I'll come to your house and clean the carpet but the food dye won't come out."

"Sure it will. I prayed over it."

My gut response was honest but as soon as I said it doubt crept into my mind. Did God really care about something as inconsequential as my family room carpet? I couldn't even keep my kids from destroying my house so who was I to flaunt my faith in God in front of a total stranger?

I actually dreaded his arrival but no amount of alarm could prevent his appearance. He came equipped with potions, hoses and machines. I had only my faith.

I still remember the look on his face as section by section my carpet returned to its original color. God has shown up on an ordinary day and showed off for a carpet cleaner. God did the impossible. Turns out He walks on water and cleans the carpet.

Are you like me and sometimes pause before praying about the mundane in your life? Why not pause right now and trust an extraordinary God with the ordinary happenings of your day?

iPray

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13

There are some things she's just better at than me. She's a more creative cook. She's a far better artist. She's also my oldest daughter. Sixteen years ago I couldn't imagine a point when she'd surpass my abilities, no matter how limited they may be. But the paradigm shifted somewhere along the way and I'm so thrilled it did. 

This fall I'm leading a Moms of Teens group at my church. Each Wednesday about 20 moms gather together to find hope, encouragement and wisdom for this journey called motherhood.  Prayer is such an essential part of this that I wanted our prayer box to be a prominent part of our room. I decided to fashion an "iPray" box that would resemble an iPhone. This was my way of making our prayers relevant to our teens.

I got as far as covering the outside of the cereal box before I called in for reinforcements from Hannah. I knew she'd have no problem penciling in some appropriate teenager-y apps. While I traveled to speak at a conference this weekend, she completed her assignment. She texted me a picture of her work and as expected it was bright and colorful.

Here's what I didn't expect to see. She had fashioned every app to relate back to our relationship with God. 

The Phone icon reminded me to phone "home".
The Message (texting) icon prompted me to read His message.
The Music icon encouraged me to worship.
The Camera icon invited me to picture Him.

I've never counted but I'm willing to guess I touch my phone at least 100 times a day. What if I formed a new habit of reaching for Him every time I reached for my phone? I could check my heart with every message. Send a prayer with every email. Every ding and ring would be a reminder to connect with the One with whom I most need contact.

So today I'm going iPray, iMeditate, iStudy and iConnect. For the next 24 hours I'm going to make a conscious effort to connect with God every time my phone calls. 

Want to join me in this 24 hour challenge? Tell me today what you think is going to happen and then check back in tomorrow with your results!

A New Way to Pray...

Pray continually. 

1 Thessalonians 5:17

Four kids, five schedules and one mom can leave your life in perpetual chaos. Most mornings I faithfully opened my Bible to drink in God’s word. I talked to Him, listened to Him and left that place contented and ready to face my day.

But many days my Jesus ran out before my hours did. I’d read Paul’s words to pray continually but with four daughters chattering throughout daylight, how could I even manage to get a word in? It was from a place of complete desperation I began to call out to God in one sentence prayers. Turns out short really can be sweet.

I wrote about this today at Encouragement Cafe. Would you join me there? http://www.encouragementcafe.com/2012/09/10/prayer-wimp-to-prayer-warrior/

Fist Pump Prayer

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

Psalm 42:2

Sundays start early at Casa della Milholland. Scott arrives at church by 7. The sorority follows for the 8:00 am service. We coax our kids and their friends with donuts since this is the only service accompanied by frosting-coated, sprinkle-encrusted goodness. Most Sundays we arrive with at least one extra girl. We girls blast down the stairs like a brood of hens toting water, a sugar high and cuteness.

My goal is to make it through the hour with minimal distractions for our fellow church-goers and maximum love and faith strengthening for us. A few weeks back Rufus, one of our teaching pastors, wrapped up his sermon with the typical, "Let us pray." 

Next to me chirped a sugar-infused "Yes!" complete with fist pumps. As a smile spread on my face, God's truth covered my heart. When was the last time I got fist-pump excited about the opportunity to pray? 

I imagine God getting way more enthused than that, when we come to meet with Him. As we bow the space of our heart, He prepares to move mountains with a whisper. But do I anticipate a Carole King moment? One where - 

I feel the earth move under my feet. 

I feel the sky tumblin' down.

I feel my heart start to tremblin' whenever you're around.

An encounter with God surpasses any romantic interlude...

A lover can move our hearts but not our obstacles.

A spouse can hold our hand but not our future.

A loved one can make our day but not our eternity.

When can I go and meet with God?

Bold Brew Faith

“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, 

you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘

Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.

Luke 17:6

It was one of those rare moments when I was in the car alone with only one of my four girls. I don't know now where Clara and I were headed, I only know our course was interrupted by crisis. 

"Could one of your older girls watch my other kids? I think I might need to take my son to the hospital." The voice on the other end was pinched with a mother's worry. The object of her worry one of Clara's good friends. I immediately made two more calls to get the babysitting arranged. By the time I hung up, Clara's eyes spilled tears. Worry had come to roost in her own heart.

"Can we pray, Mommy?"

I was thrilled this was her first response. My initial words were full of faith but then doubt bombarded. 

Are you sure you want to pray so boldly?
What if God doesn't come through?
What if her faith is wrecked by God's unresponsiveness?

My fear collided with my faith.

Did I really believe God or would I pray a weak "only if you want to God" kind of prayer? I pushed my doubt aside and pushed forward in faith - mother and daughter together pleading with God for a friend.

Within minutes my phone rang again. 

"How is he?" I eagerly implored.

"Fine. His abdominal pain just...disappeared. One minute he was crying. The next he was ready to go home. We didn't even see the doctor."

I am guilty of praying weak, short on grind prayers. They include lots of escape clauses for God. But what if God doesn't want a trap door? What if He's just waiting on us to push through our doubt and pray with faith? What if we mouthed boldly brewed prayers?

Has your fear recently collided your faith? Do you dare to pray bold?
______________________________

Need help with your prayer life? Try these resources available for FREE download: PrePrayed - Preparation for Life's Events and 8 Life Transforming Prayers. Claim your free download at http://www.shannonmilholland.com/free-resources.html.

When Life Laps You

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, 

and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 

for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest.

Matthew 11:28-29

"It feeled like 3 laps, Mommy."


Monday our six year old, Clara, decided she would join the ranks of runner. Filled with determination and energy, she wanted to stride right into a three mile run. With thousands of miles under my soles, I started her with a 1/3 mile lap around our neighborhood. Day one she outpaced me and never had to stop. Day two she struggled a bit and wanted to come home after 1/3 mile.


Have you ever had a day that clocked 1/3 mile but "feeled" like 3 laps? Have you ever wondered how to breathe rest on trying days? Prayer is the fuel for life's run.


Last fall we joined in prayer to get PrePrayed. We learned how to energize our ordinary days so we would be prepared for life's big events not just logistically but spiritually. Specifically, we prayed rest in four areas:


Rest for your heart


Rest for your soul


Rest for your mind


Rest for you body

Do you need to re-fuel? Why not take the next 30 days to recharge your heart and refresh your soul? You can download the complete free prayer guide, PrePrayed, here: http://www.shannonmilholland.com/free-resources.html

Please allow me the privilege of praying for you on your journey. Tell me in a comment specifically how I pray for you today.

Transforming Prayer - Lord Direct Me

My husband and I are contemplating building or buying a new home. It’s not the lengthy process of packing and unpacking that boxes my heart in distress. It’s not the mound of decisions and details that pushes my emotions to the edge. It’s two words – show condition.

Show condition.

Has my house ever come close to this standard? I’ll give you a hint. My first name isn’t Susie and the bunny doesn’t just hop by our home on Easter. The six of us have occasional rabbit visitors of the dust variety.

The amazing thing is I’m okay with it.

I’m a natural goal setter and achiever. A paper with every item crossed off is beauty. Honestly, I’d rather get an “A” than a “10”.

For years I lived in a constant state of panic – too many tasks and too little time to complete them. I fretted over keeping my hampers empty and my pantry full. I stressed about holidays and ordinary days. My emotions and outlook rode the wave of my daily “to do” list. The more I accomplished, the better I felt.

With so much achievement my life had absolutely margin. There was no room for God to work in my home because I was too busy doing it all for Him. I decided to make a radical change.

I began to pray a simple daily prayer – Lord Direct Me.

I gave Him the pen to my notepad.

I offered Him my time to manage.

As I breathed this sentence throughout my day, He breathed peace into my home.

As I prayed Lord Direct Me, my home became less type A and more type Him.

Does your home need an extreme makeover? What would change if you breathed this prayer into the space of your home and heart?

One Thing...That Will Change Your Life

One thing I ask of the Lord…

Psalm 27:4

“Honey, I need a pair of underwear.” It was a basic need from the lips of a man already packed for his week-long trip. But I spent the prior day diligent in the laundry room. I put away every washed pair. How could my day’s work not be enough?

Like a blanket, old feelings welled up within and suffocated me.

You’ll never make him happy.

You’re a failure as a wife.

Your best isn’t enough.

I immediately ratted my husband out to God. He could soooo do something about this…and I was sure He was on my side.

Lord, make him more appreciative.

Lord, make him more supportive.

Lord, change him.

My laundry had followed me away from the dryer. I had a laundry list of things I wanted God to do in him. He whispered His answer in my ear. One thing I ask of the Lord.

What if we only asked one thing of God?

One thing for our marriage.

One thing for our children.

One thing...

What would our one thing be?

Today, I’ll be hanging out at the Moms Together Community. Join me there to learn the 8 “one thing” prayers that changed my life. 

Stored Up in His Heart

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

She tucked her prayers in her birthday box. Some were desires long held. Each paper held a piece of who she is and the dreams of who she wants to become. She chose to give them to God instead of hiding them in her heart.

When she carried her own burdens, they weighted her down. They seemed impossible. Written down they were small. Just a few pieces of paper. His hands were big enough to hold them all.

A few days after she showed me the box, she began to see God specifically answer some of her prayers. Her trust in Him grew. Her faith flourished.

There is power in writing down our hopes, dreams and prayers. We would be wise to follow my daughter's example and find a special place to store them. And the very best place will be His heart.

A Street Called Freedom

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Matthew 5:44

"You're a Meanie Geanie!" It was the ultimate insult hurled across the room when my brother and I were mad at each other. I don't even remember the three other names but I remember there were a total of four classifications for unacceptable sibling behavior. Meanie Geanie was reserved for the most despicable. 


Clearly I did not grow up in a house of fighters. We are stuffers. We are card carrying members of the Conflict Avoider Club. We sweep issues behind large pieces of furniture where they are safely hidden with dust bunnies and can't be seen or discussed. 


Whether we lock it under the key of our heart or blab about it on aisle three of the local supermarket, we all have stuff. Whether we avoid it like an IRS audit or post it proudly on our front door, we all have stuff. For me Meanie Geanie is a much more palatable label than enemy. But whatever you call it, decide to do something with it.

Pray for your enemies. Prayer is the door through which forgiveness walks.

I tweeted that this week. It is a lesson I've learned in the trenches of my life. There is someone in my life who has tortured me and my family financially, emotionally and legally. Nearly every interaction with this person leaves a another burn mark on the surface of my heart. If ever there were a Meanie Geanie...

In moments of quiet despair, I pray for God to make their work satisfying and prosperous.

In times of unbearable pain, I pray for their marriage to blossom and bring joy.

In seasons of bitterness, I pray for every spiritual blessing in Christ to pour out on their home.

These prayers first fall from a hypocrite's lips but they land on the heart of a Jesus lover. They open the door to forgiveness. Forgiveness brings the gift of freedom.

Freedom from despair, pain and bitterness.

Won't you join me? Pray for your enemies. Prayer is the door through which forgiveness walks. Forgiveness strolls on a street called Freedom.

My Gift to You This Year

Sweet Friends, 


I so loved praying with each of you through the Fall. As a special holiday gift, I have packaged those prayers into a FREE eBook you can download from my website. 


Please know you are loved, treasured and prayed for. 


This, dear ones, is for you:

(Click the book cover above or here to download.) 


Merry Christmas one and all!

Day 27 of Prayer Guide - Peace for Your Heart

Day Twenty Seven

Peace for Your Heart

Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.

I am swallowed by my anxiety. It moves over my heart in waves, washing away my peace as it gurgles within. My heart longs for the peace of my Prince.

Striving one, come corral peace for your heart.

Today I Pray for You:

·         That you would journey to the throne of the One whose scepter is peace.

·         To know the rule that breaks the bondage of anxiety.

Today You Pray:

Provider God, I open my heart to You. Where You walk, trouble is stilled. The very brush of You entreats my heart to the pause of peace.

The door of my heart is thrown wide. Rule, Prince of Peace.

Day 26 of Prayer Guide - Peace

Day Twenty Six

Peace

Isaiah 32:17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence.

I long for peace but it eludes me. I’ve been told to chase after what I want but somewhere midstride I realize peace isn’t something I can catch. Peace is Someone Who gives to me what He is.

Distressed one, come drain peace into your being.

Today I Pray for You:

·         That the Prince of Peace would crown your heart with peace.

·         To surrender your drained soul to the One who drains peace.

Today You Pray:

My Shelter, I hide in You. Here in this place of rest and security, I give my frightened heart over to You. To finish well, I must walk in the peace only You can give.

Some trust in money. Some trust in relationships. I trust in You – the One who gives a quiet confidence and peace.

Day 25 of Prayer Guide - Perseverance for Your Body

Day Twenty Five

Perseverance for Your Body

Hebrews 12:1 And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Run? How could I run when I am barely managing to walk? My life shuffles by and I feel like I simply can’t keep up the pace. How can I get my feet to move at the rate of modern life?

Suspended one, come swallow perseverance for your body.

Today I Pray for You:

·         To shift your focus from the finish line to the Hand Who marks out the race

·         To run with the confidence of God’s strength

Today You Pray:

God of Endurance, I want to finish the race but I also want to make each step count. You are the hand that offers Living Water to weary runners. Your refreshment is extended to me; I have to embrace the gift.

I choose to pause here at your roadside stand to drink deeply of the One who restores my soul and reinvigorates by body. As I begin the race once more, I realize I run with You. Your presence in the race ensures I will run and not grow weary.

Day 24 of Prayer Guide - Perseverance for Your Mind

Day Twenty Four

Perseverance for Your Mind

Proverbs 4:26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.

You once read that a yawn is your brain’s attempt to wake itself up. If it’s possible to reach a point of mental exhaustion where a yawn has no impact, you’re there. Your mind feels heavy as if a fog has settled over your shoulders. To move forward, you need to find a way to shift your brain out of neutral.

Hampered one, come absorb perseverance for your mind.

Today I Pray for You:

·         To hear the gentle whisper of the One who gives light to your path and a lamp for your feet.

·         That the Light will blow away the fog.

Today You Pray:

Everlasting Father, this day does not catch You off guard. While my mind wanes, Your purpose is constant. Your unwavering focus sees my heart and speaks love and grace into my mind.

I rest my head in Your hand. Your mercy massages my mind as I connect to Your heart. As I trust Your leadership, my mind perseveres in Your path.

Day 23 - Perseverance for Your Soul

Day Twenty Three

Perseverance for Your Soul

2 Chronicles 15:7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

When you began, you never envisioned yourself crawling across the finish line. Today you’d be delighted to reach completion at all. These days are long; the goal still out of reach.

Stalled one, come reap perseverance for your soul.

Today I Pray for You:

·         To remain in the One who will carry you to completion.

·         To stretch out your hand not toward your goals but to the One who makes reaching them possible.

Today You Pray:

Unchanging God, You do not grow weary. You never tire of me. Instead You delight in my presence. Today I won’t crawl closer to the finish line, I will crawl into Your lap. I will abide in You and allow You to recharge the cavern of my soul.

My need for You is gaping. Without You I cannot continue. Like a prize fighter against the ropes, I realize alone I’m down for the count. But in You is the perseverance my soul thirsts. Together we’ll dance around the ring until the final bell rings.

Day 22 of Prayer Guide - Perseverance for Your Heart

Day Twenty Two

Perseverance for Your Heart

2 Thessalonians 3:5 May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.

Nothing is impossible. This is a core belief for you. When you reach a sticking point, you push through. You’ve been bootstrapping as far back as you can remember. Suddenly, you’ve reached a point where your heart simply won’t follow your feet. You feel stuck; unable to proceed.

Hindered one, come embrace perseverance for your heart.

Today I Pray for You:

·         To stop pushing through and start being directed by the Source of true perseverance.

·         To discover the mine of perseverance that exists in the depth of God’s love.

Today You Pray:

Never Ending One, I’m weary from trying. Though my effort tends to meet with “success”, I wonder if I chase the wrong goal. What if true perseverance is found in a gentle push from You rather than a pull from my own strength?

For too long I’ve measured progress as forward. Shift me down into Your bottomless well of love. The further I dive into Your arms, the more You fuel perseverance in my heart. Entwined, You carry me forward.