Hope Doesn't Crop up From Nowhere

Romans 5:3-5 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into or hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

I am a certifiable perfectionist (not something of which I'm proud). Being a perfectionist means that perfection's twin sister, "fear of failure", also continually knocks at the door of my heart. Last weekend I went WAY out of my comfort zone and presented a book proposal to two publishers. This is something I didn't feel qualified or competent to do yet really believed God was asking of me to do. So you can imagine my great angst as I trusted God and stepped out in faith. Here are the responses I received:

Publisher One - Sorry we don't publish those kind of books. Well unless you're Beth Moore. You're not Beth Moore are you? (insert nervous chuckle)

Publisher Two - We don't publish any book of any genre unless we can google your name and find hundreds of hits establishing that thousands of people are already hearing and engaged in your message.

Last time I checked I'm not Beth Moore. No disrespect to that beautiful, godly woman, but I'm totally content not to be her. I just want to be me. I also don't have thousands of people clamoring to hear me speak or read what I write. I am actually quite an ordinary girl. The me before walking with Jesus would have taken that rejection personally, internalized it and stamped "FAILURE" across my forehead. Walking with Jesus, I can trust Him to turn rejection into love.

Would I have loved for one of those publishers to sweep in, deem my book worthy of publication and slap a book deal on me? You bet I would. In the midst of that "failure" I could hear my sweet Jesus whisper in my heart, "Your children will learn far more from watching you handle a 'no' than they ever would from watching you handle a 'yes'." Ultimately, the cry of my heart is to see my daughters' lives changed for the kingdom so I can rejoice in any moment that helps to do that.

This morning I am reading the 5th chapter of Romans. This chapter is full of verses that I treasure. Here are three of my favorites:

• Verse 6 - At just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.


• Verse 8 - But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


• Verse 15b - How much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace (salvation) of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!

Today, though, my unpublished little heart is drawn to verses 3-5. They are hope, light and encouragement for any person whose life's moment isn't playing out like they had dreamed.

• Suffering produces perseverance - I am not suggesting that a little rejection falls under the umbrella of true suffering. It is however a real pain that does actually hurt. When my heart hurts, God cultivates that seed of sadness into the plant of perseverance. Perseverance essentially is the ability to make it through regardless of difficulties, obstacles or discouragement. I definitely need me some of that!


• Perseverance produces character - Once the plant of perseverance has firmly established roots, God multiplies it into a crop of character. My former pastor, Jack Graham, wisely states that character is what you do when no one is watching. Character is how you act towards those you most love. It's how you speak when you're chatting with your closest friend. It's every little decision you would make if you knew with certainty "you'd never get caught". Godly character is cultivated in the field of suffering. I can't explain it but have seen it proven true in my own life. Suffering smooths out inconsistencies and overcomes weaknesses.


• Character produces hope - When the crop of character is growing lush and full, God brings it to fruition in a harvest of hope. Hope is a basic need of people. My husband, Scott, still remembers the first day I began to tell him about Jesus. I simply asked him if he needed hope in his life. He definitely did. Hope is the overflow of suffering. When we come through on the other side of financial loss, illness, death or even just rejection, hope is produced in our hearts.


• Hope doesn't disappoint - This passage ends with the promise that through hope God's love is poured out into our hearts. There was a time when in my heart rejection = God doesn't love me. By God's grace I can see through these verses that rejection is a gift from God to grow perseverance, character, hope and love in my heart. There isn't a day that passes that I don't ask God to make me more loving. God didn't say "no" to my dream of being published. He said "yes" to making me more loving.

Thank you Jesus for walking with me into uncharted waters I could never navigate alone. Thank you for letting me see how Your perfect loves flows through everything that happens to me. Thank you for taking my perceived failures and weaving them into a beautiful tapestry of perseverance, character, hope and love. Today I receive the gift of love You've given me and will give it away to each person I encounter.