Psalm 139:10 ...your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
My heart raced. Panic rose in my throat. If I could just wake up, I thought I'd feel relief. I didn't. If possible, I was more frightened awake than I had been asleep.
Instinctively I moved closer to my husband. "What are you doing?"
"I'm scared," I whispered back. Thinking I must sound like a preschooler, I expected a reproof.
Instead, he grabbed my hand and gently reassured me, "I'm not going anywhere." With his hand fastened around mine, the relief I'd been anticipating washed over me. My breathing slowed. My rapid pulse subsided. Sleep came once more.
Today's passage is Psalm 14. David makes an observation which Paul would later quote in Romans 3. No person is godly. In fact, we're all quite the opposite - filled with deceit and wrongdoing.
God's response is to remind David that He is present (verse 5). God is not going anywhere. No matter how badly I mess up, He's there holding my hand and reassuring me of His love.
His grace and forgiveness is not dependent on my goodness. It is dependent on His. How powerful to realize in my weakest moment, He is strong. His grip never loosens.
As a part of a Bible story I was teaching this morning, I wrestled four elementary age boys...at the same time. I was surprised to realize I could have taken the four of them down. No boy wants to remember the day a church lady beat them and three friends at arm wrestling. Grace and mercy forced my arm to fall back.
God doesn't arm wrestle me into submission. He simply holds on. How sweet to know that I'm in His grip of mercy and grace.
Jesus, hold my hand today. I might squeeze tightly if I'm afraid. I may raise my hand in a moment of victory. I could stumble. Whatever happens today, I want to be gripped by grace.