Isaiah 50:11 But watch out, you who live in your own light and warm yourselves by your own fires.
I was in my second trimester of pregnancy with my second child. I was working full time because our household budget required my financial contribution. I wanted desperately to not put my child in daycare.
What I thought was my answer came in my fourth month. My husband was offered a job making almost double his current pay. His new job would replace my income and then some! One day we were moving to Philadelphia. The next he came home and said the offer was rescinded. I was crushed.
I did not pray. I did not wait for my husband to lead. I ran ahead of God. I made my own light and walked by it by suggesting to my husband that we leave Memphis where we had incredible friends and attended a wonderful church and move to Chattanooga so his mom could watch our new baby. He agreed.
That day was the first day of the end of my marriage.
Today I am reading Psalm 7. David is feeling the emotional pressure of attack from his enemies. Unlike me he runs to God not ahead of God. There he finds refuge.
When I chose to walk by the light of my own fire, I walked straight into destruction. When I ran ahead of God, I ran into disaster.
Today's scripture reminds me that I have choice when I don't like the outcome. I can stop, pray and wait on God or I can run ahead to destination unknown somewhere outside of God's will.
Jesus, today I wait for You. I choose to walk with You. I want Your Word and wisdom to light my path. Show me the way to walk in a runner's world.