Pack mentality is the kind of thinking one should be freed from about the time the mortarboard get thrown in the air. The pack followed me into parenting. I was bombarded with information about schooling, activities and schedules. It was all to easy to follow the herd whether they were grazing at the soccer field or on the dance floor.
Eventually I broke away from the pack and my parenting success soared as a result. Want to know how to break away from the pack? Join me at WikiMommy and find out. I'm featured there this month.
Shannon, I hopped over and read this on WikiMommy from my phone. What a great article and it holds so much truth. I could especially relate to the making friends for our kids and following suit with what all the other moms are putting their kids into. It wasn't until we moved out of California that my parenting changed to very much of my own style and much less of what everyone else was doing. :)
Rosann, it's a natural trap to fall into. At first I didn't even realize I was doing it but when we step back we realize God created our child with her own unique giftings that need to be nurtured and encouraged. That requires thought and individuality when it comes to activities.
Thankfully, I was never a pack parent. I think it part it was because DS was so "different," and part of it was that we didn't do a lot with outside activities. I had my own friends and our kids got along well, and that's all that mattered for us since DS had limited social skills. We even put him in a baseball league where we knew no one for the very reason we didn't want his social experiences to be limited. Now that he's older, he's made his own friends, and he's comfortable in social environments.
You bring up very important points about looking at the bigger picture and remembering that we don't have to follow to be great parents :-)
I think I follow the pack because irstly there are too many choices out there - so I get overwhelmed. Secondly I feel they have done the research for me. Terrible I know! What is best for one isn't always best for us. Thanks for inspiring me :) I need to hink for myself!
Well I must confess I follow the pack when it comes to things like car seats because I hate doing that kind of research and know my "organized" friends dig it. I depend on them for that for sure! :)
Of course my girls are older now, but I think it was backwards for me. They made friends (at daycare, school, after schoolcare, etc.) then I became friends with their friend's mothers. My girls have never had trouble making friends, thankfully. I can be a little on the shy side (I'm not good at just walking up to people & start talking), so I think they helped me find new friends :)
I feel lucky I like to write my own story which means I did not join the pack. I did discover my kids best friends are not my friends kids. I feel a little guilty they are playing with other kids when my friends ask, but in the end it is better for my kids.
Shannon, I hopped over and read this on WikiMommy from my phone. What a great article and it holds so much truth. I could especially relate to the making friends for our kids and following suit with what all the other moms are putting their kids into. It wasn't until we moved out of California that my parenting changed to very much of my own style and much less of what everyone else was doing. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great weekend!
~Rosann
Rosann, it's a natural trap to fall into. At first I didn't even realize I was doing it but when we step back we realize God created our child with her own unique giftings that need to be nurtured and encouraged. That requires thought and individuality when it comes to activities.
Deleteperfect article for me!
ReplyDeleteSo thankful!
DeleteThankfully, I was never a pack parent. I think it part it was because DS was so "different," and part of it was that we didn't do a lot with outside activities. I had my own friends and our kids got along well, and that's all that mattered for us since DS had limited social skills. We even put him in a baseball league where we knew no one for the very reason we didn't want his social experiences to be limited. Now that he's older, he's made his own friends, and he's comfortable in social environments.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up very important points about looking at the bigger picture and remembering that we don't have to follow to be great parents :-)
What great steps you took to make sure you were giving the very best to your son. I think that's super cool!
DeleteI think I follow the pack because irstly there are too many choices out there - so I get overwhelmed. Secondly I feel they have done the research for me. Terrible I know! What is best for one isn't always best for us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for inspiring me :) I need to hink for myself!
Well I must confess I follow the pack when it comes to things like car seats because I hate doing that kind of research and know my "organized" friends dig it. I depend on them for that for sure! :)
DeleteOf course my girls are older now, but I think it was backwards for me. They made friends (at daycare, school, after schoolcare, etc.) then I became friends with their friend's mothers. My girls have never had trouble making friends, thankfully. I can be a little on the shy side (I'm not good at just walking up to people & start talking), so I think they helped me find new friends :)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from VoiceBoks!
Laura, that is really sweet. God helped fill in your gaps through your daughters. What a gift!
DeleteI feel lucky I like to write my own story which means I did not join the pack. I did discover my kids best friends are not my friends kids. I feel a little guilty they are playing with other kids when my friends ask, but in the end it is better for my kids.
ReplyDelete